The reopening of school hasn't hasn't really been a good one, lots of panicky feelings and frustration. Piles of undone work and so much to catch up. I felt so suffocated and hard to breathe, think everything's like getting tougher and more competitive. No more time to slack.

I realised I started to really split the natural and supernatural boundaries so clear that I depended more on my strength throughout the first 2 weeks or so. In the beginning, the conscience of hardwork and dilligence felt rather good, but soon after, I just got so drained, so demoralized whenever I can't do maths and whatever not.

I know I had to run back into God's embrace again and fill my tank. True enough, God's love and promises never fails. Not even mentioning 1 day, but just 1 solid & quality hour of time spent with God is enough to fill me with so much more faith, strength and peace. It just felt so refreshed and the day after that, I just feel everything in me - my brain, my eyes, my heart etc. just open up alot more. Suddenly, I felt that Maths was at least do-able.

For the longest time, I've been struggling with Maths. But from now on, I will love it more and more everyday. The more I hate it, the more I'm going to conquer it and fall in love in it. Sounds weird but yeah it motivates me.

Hectic life in school is draining but the Holy Spirit always prompt me to keep a good balance. Definitely, there are still alot of problems and unsettled issues, but I told myself I will not dwell upon the past anymore. Just keep moving on, it will only get better.

Really feel so super duper inspired and touched by Mae-ann's sharing during pastoral meeting yesterday. She was so anointed and such strong presence of God was there. I want to be like her touching so many lives, working so closely with the Holy Spirit, living like an adventure, a quest everyday. Children Church really expands me and help me see things in a different light. If not for ministry, I wouldn't have grown so much.

I really thank God for those people who stayed by me during difficult times, even when I made so many mistakes and not giving my best. They showed me what the unconditional love that Jesus has is like.

I know all these are worthwhile, while others may not apprehend, but it's enough as long as God knows and I know in my heart. It doesn't matter about how others look anymore. My self-esteem is not built on the words of others, but on what God says about me.