A NEW LIFE

2010-03-31T06:39:00.000-07:00

Moving on to tumblr ! :)

Patrick & Spongebob

2010-03-26T07:44:00.000-07:00

Saw this on Firebird's blog :)

So sweet!

Why don't we just smile today, right now?

2010-03-24T07:59:00.000-07:00

10 REASONS to keep smiling

1. Faith smiles.

2. Smiling is contagious. Spread the joy & love to someone today!

3. Smiling boosts our Immune system. Depressed people are 80% higher at risk to fall sick!

4. Smiling is a natural painkiller - releasal of Endorphins and Serotonin makes you feel good :)

5. Smiling lifts your face and make you look younger - Exercising of facial muscles!

6. Smiling keeps us positive in situations - Sends a message of "Life is Good!" to all over your body!

7. Smiling lowers our blood pressure.

8. Smiling relieves stress!

9. Smiling makes us appear confident, especially on important occasions!

10. Smiley people attracts others :)

God definitely created the act of smiling with great mighty purpose & reasons far beyond I can apprehend. But one thing I know is that He never fails to lift me up and put a smile on my face whenever life gets discourages. God is good all the time! :)

" Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? " - Matthew 6:27

" But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, DO NOT WORRY about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble on its own. " - Matthew 6:33-34

STOP WORRYING & START SMILING RIGHT NOW! :) :) :) :) :)

I'll never forget.

2010-03-15T06:55:00.000-07:00

Over breakfast today, I shared something with Mum.

It really was the work of the Holy Spirit and not me.

There were tears glittering in her eyes.

Beyonds my words, she was filled with a special something.

That I am certain. And her words thereafter tells me there's great hope in her salvation.

I must have faith. That moment, I will never forget.

Waiting for the day to come to pass when I can recount this together with her.

It will come. It is a done-deal.

You just need to have faith when you need it. You don't need it when you don't. Yes, it is just that simple.

2010-02-27T18:39:00.000-08:00

Read this from Pastor Kong's blog titled When bad things happened to good people and I find it really a re-enforcement and encouraging.

Understand that God is seeking to make you better.

" God is more interested in our character than our comfort. He is a very purposeful God and never arbitrary in His treatment concerning us. That is why when we do not see His hand, we must learn to trust His heart. If not, we will become confused, resentful and bitter. That is precisely why we need faith in our walk with Him. The silence of God will make you wonder if He even cares, but He does. The silence of God will make you wonder if He is even there, but He is. Faith is never for the good times, it is always for the difficult times. "

Obedient Endurance is the crowning mark of maturity.

update

2010-02-13T02:38:00.000-08:00

Today's CNY-eve and looking forward to reunion dinner later! :)

Helped mommy to spring-clean the house, vacuumed & mopped - it's tiring! but feeling satisfied. And then I fell asleep while trying to study abit of my Chinese lit.

Had a good 'talk' with Dad; asked him about China's history(cos it was related to what I'm studying) and he's just like a tap, that keeps on flowing and flowing. But I really learnt something from him, enhanced my knowledge so much on China's history.

The past 2 weeks.. Hmm ups & downs.

Built up a momentum on prayer and it really worked wonders. God showed me a few visions that are so clear that they kept flashing thru' my mind. One exceptionally powerful one happened on my way to school, while I was listening to a chinese worship song. Walking through the corridors of the classrooms in school, the presence of the Holy Spirit could be felt so strongly, my hair were all standing, and it went on for quite a while. It was so precious! That scene in my mind, I will carry in my heart and never forget.

Just as everything seems well and things are getting better. For this week, I suddenly felt weaker, I don't know how to explain but there's just this sudden tiredness and restlessness. Quite a bit of negative feelings and I kept reminding myself to practice mindfulness, but it was not workable. Shared with Fungqi and although it's just a casual conversation but she really affirms me.

With a bigger vision comes bigger obstacles and restrictions. The force and power of Satan - I will not succumb to it! I will not bow down! I will press on and fight till the end. I can sense persecution coming but I don't care anymore. Or in fact it has arrived. I only know one thing so strong in my heart, that is I will be unashamed about my love & passion for Christ. I will not hide it just to please men or the world.

The stronger your force, the firmer I stand!

Favor with God, then favor with men. I learnt my lesson; relevance with mankind.

He who is in me is stronger that he who is in the world. By faith I am strong. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

No longer I who lives but Christ who lives in me, I will depend on His might!

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." - Gal 5:22-23

thoughts

2010-01-29T04:48:00.000-08:00

1. Starting to love running. Discovered the trick to it; increasing my stamina. Feels great to workout, 10 rounds around the track is no longer scary but do-able & cool! Right shoes make a great difference.

2. Last minute studying will never ever work for JC2 anymore. Consistency and early, thorough preparation is the key. I need more brain power.

3. I need to have more heart for my kids, I need to carry them on my heart more. Loving undeservedly, loving unconditionally. No matter how hard it is. God help me to look at the strengths & potentials of them.

4. Financial discipline and freedom!

5. Quiet time with God is good :) Hard to start but keep pressing on helps to build momentum and patience. Waiting on the Lord renews my strength. Worship helps me to lift my burdens & tell Him how much I love Him. His word brings joy and assurance. Prayer submits my fear to Him. God is in control!

6. Cultivating a habit of finding joy & including God in everything I do. Life is much easier & happy like that.

7. Making sure I am faith-filled and happy before I step into school each day. Holy Spirit, guide me and open my eyes to the needs of the people.

8. Tao Huay is my happy food :)

9. The school library is my new hiding place in school, haha.

10. Good is the enemy of Great. Going to read Good to Great next week!

Don't give up.

2010-01-27T05:38:00.001-08:00

Taking some time off to just pen down my thoughts, feelings over these 3 weeks.

The reopening of school hasn't hasn't really been a good one, lots of panicky feelings and frustration. Piles of undone work and so much to catch up. I felt so suffocated and hard to breathe, think everything's like getting tougher and more competitive. No more time to slack.

I realised I started to really split the natural and supernatural boundaries so clear that I depended more on my strength throughout the first 2 weeks or so. In the beginning, the conscience of hardwork and dilligence felt rather good, but soon after, I just got so drained, so demoralized whenever I can't do maths and whatever not.

I know I had to run back into God's embrace again and fill my tank. True enough, God's love and promises never fails. Not even mentioning 1 day, but just 1 solid & quality hour of time spent with God is enough to fill me with so much more faith, strength and peace. It just felt so refreshed and the day after that, I just feel everything in me - my brain, my eyes, my heart etc. just open up alot more. Suddenly, I felt that Maths was at least do-able.

For the longest time, I've been struggling with Maths. But from now on, I will love it more and more everyday. The more I hate it, the more I'm going to conquer it and fall in love in it. Sounds weird but yeah it motivates me.

Hectic life in school is draining but the Holy Spirit always prompt me to keep a good balance. Definitely, there are still alot of problems and unsettled issues, but I told myself I will not dwell upon the past anymore. Just keep moving on, it will only get better.

Really feel so super duper inspired and touched by Mae-ann's sharing during pastoral meeting yesterday. She was so anointed and such strong presence of God was there. I want to be like her touching so many lives, working so closely with the Holy Spirit, living like an adventure, a quest everyday. Children Church really expands me and help me see things in a different light. If not for ministry, I wouldn't have grown so much.

I really thank God for those people who stayed by me during difficult times, even when I made so many mistakes and not giving my best. They showed me what the unconditional love that Jesus has is like.

I know all these are worthwhile, while others may not apprehend, but it's enough as long as God knows and I know in my heart. It doesn't matter about how others look anymore. My self-esteem is not built on the words of others, but on what God says about me.

This season; change, growth and breakthroughs!

Not by might, not by power, but by My spirit says the Lord.

Mao's last dancer

2010-01-06T20:53:00.000-08:00

2 or 3 days before New Year's Day, I was flipping through an Aussie magazine and saw a feature on the upcoming movie in Australia - Mao's last dancer. And I immediately remembered my aunt gave me this book few years back. Quickly search for it and there it is, lying in the storage box, looking a bit older and pages more yellowish.

I don't know why but once I start reading I never put it down, and I devour the book in 5 days. The book's quite thick given that it's an autobiography.

I really like the honesty of the author and how he wrote his lifestory. The kind of bitterness and harsh conditions they had to suffer through the Mao & communism period in China really reinforced what I had learnt in CSE and CLL lessons. Not just the facts that I've acquired, but through the real life story of a peasant boy, it's like a colour tv showing the kind of life at that time and how it is easier to recall about things about Mao & communism now. The power of stories.

Also, really inspired by the kind of perseverance, passion and love he had in life, his dance, his family etc. I just feel whatever it is, nothing comes easy straightaway, and sometimes even, we really have to fall many times, fail then we'll succeed. The key is persevering and not giving up I guess, but with the love, the joy and strength from God - the long is long, but I know I will never be alone. No matter how many times we fall, He'll always catch us into His embrace.

The movie's coming up in Apr 22 - Pastor Lia & Mae Ann's birthday! And I'm really excited to watch it after watching the trailer on youtube! So gonna catch it! :)

Failing doesn't mean you're a failure but giving up does. Don't give up!

My first ausie holiday.

2009-12-16T23:13:00.000-08:00

Been back from Australia for a good 10 days already! I've procrastinate enough and now I'm updating this space about my trip :) It's my 1st time travelling to Melbourne & Tasmania and I must say I had a really rejuvenating time over time.

Seen, Eat, Hear, Smell, Feel Aussie over the 13 days - what an experience!

We manage to escape the school holiday + Christmas peak period and thank God, got relatively cheap air tickets from Emirates! Arrived at Melbourne airport in the morning. The weather was beautiful! Sunny with cool frequent winds blowing. Around 14-24deg.

Our lodging place for the next few days @ Aunt's big house!

Mom & Aunts really on- once settled with rooms and luggage, off we went to Preston market!

Everything @ Preston Market is BIG BIG BIG!!! After all the 'aunty' shopping for food for the night, we went to the German store, ALDI and bought chocolates! Ah pity that I don't have a photo of it. Most of the chocolates I brought back are from ALDI! I'm not being aunty but then

they sell HARIBO gummy bears really much cheaper than Cocoa Tree in Singapore.

After dinner, we took the train to City! There's not much of a night life in Aussie, most of the shops are closed by 5pm. We went to the Crown to look see look see, but of course we didn't step into the Casino. They were really bad to place the ATMS right beside the Casino!

Before we go, we bought Krispy Kreme doughnuts home! :)

Fingers-licking good! :)

Ok pause. From now on, my photos are all jumbled up! So I'll flow with the photos! I'm so sorry.

One thing I really loved about Aussie was the really blue skies & the greenery :) Something I always wished for when I'm really stress while studying in school(my pals in school will know what I mean!) These were taken in City park i think? On 1st or 2nd dec, the beginning of Summer.

Ok guess what's this??

This is a remote controller? Haha I don't know what to call this. This very cool thing rings like a handphone when the food you ordered is ready.

Great seafood @ Mures, Hobart, Tasmania! Calamari rock my socks! :) But one thing I was really scared of at the end of the trip was FISH & CHIPS. Everywhere on the streets, you'll see FISH & CHIPS! And that's honeycomb & cookies ice-cream! It will easily cost a $6 in Singapore but it is only $4.50 in Aussie plus you'll probably never get such a generous scoop here!

On our way home one day, we stop by this shop called THE CHEESECAKE SHOP and got this lovely strawberry cheescake for only $23 or $26 i think. Super duper cheesy and nice when freezed!

This beautiful spot is called the Wineglass Bay lookout at Freycinet national park in Tasmania. Tasmania is an awesome place full of great national parks, think over 40 of them? We trekked for about 1hr or so uphill to this lookout place. It was breathtaking, and the air was so fresh. Feels super accomplished when I climbed up there! Suddenly you just feel like all the troubles are gone as you look at the calm blue sea :) I told myself I will visit this place again! The next time I'm there, I'll trek further down for another 1.5h to the bay itself and experience its beauty right infront of my own eyes and not from afar.

The Great Ocean Road! :) Magnificent sight of the ocean. The winds were so strong but it feels so super shiok!!! This is one of the MUST visit sights I guess if you visit Melbourne.

The very famous 12 Apostles! But unfortunately, many of them have fallen due to time, weathering, erosion and everything else.

Blowhole and my family! Fen & Siong from M'sia, Lianlian AY, OKS & Mom!

How lovely Australians are in decorating their homes for Christmas! There was such a thick Christmas atmosphere there when it's only end Nov-beginning Dec. Walking down the street behind Aunt's house, almost every house was beautifully clothed in all these lightings and decor. If I had a house, I would do that too!

Our very comfy & modern lodging place in Hobart! It's a motel but I totally fell in love with this place. Pls stay here if you visit Hobart in Tasmania, you'll never regret! We booked an apartment so it's 2 storey, I'll let the pictures do the talking :)

Master bedroom

The other bedroom - My bro & I shared this room!

The very clean bathroom. The toilet was on the other side!

Wildlife Kangaroo Mama & Baby caught in sight! Really lucky!

We went Cherries picking! And also Strawberries picking! Quite fun! Pluck pluck pluck eat eat eat, freshly from the trees.

My very cute mommy, who was really happy when she's in the fruit farm. Flowers, fruits and vegetables are her love!

Chocolate factory on Philip Island. If you visit Melbourne, you MUST MUST MUST MUST visit Philip Island - the Nobbies & the Penguin Parade!!!

I don't know how to describe this place. But it literally feels like the end of the world, very very very very strong wind. You can lift up your hands, run & attempt to fly and you'll really float alittle! But there are alot of birds there and the birdshit smell can stink quite abit.

Unfortunately we can't take pictures of Penguins because they will be scared. They were so cute, wobbling back in a neat row from the sea. And I saw some mate too! Really funny :) It was an eye-opener.

The last few days in Melbourne was shopping in City! We went to Smith street, a place full of factory outlets. You will love this place if you like to shop. Nike factory outlet - No.1 super worthwhile store to visit.

This is the tram stop! Hahaha rather dangerous!!

One of the best meals I had in Aussie. I fell in love with SALMONS & NECTARINES after this trip.

More photos in FB! :)

After typing & posting photos, I suddenly miss Aussie alittle again. I'll definitely go back there again, and visit the other states of Australia.

Really really learnt many things from this trip, not just sightseeing, eating, shopping and having fun, but learning the strengths of the Australians - the optimism in them, the smiles they have, their hospitality and so much more. Spending a whole uninterrupted 13days with my family, I've also learnt to appreciate them so much more, wanting to love my mum so much so much more :)

Travelling is good! Even Pastor How say As much as you can, go travel and get yourself exposed!

Another 2 weeks to school reopening, which means the crazy & intense schooldays for A level preparation. But I suddenly have such feeling in my heart, my 2010 goal is to Live my life right. In everything I do, I want to have the "whatever" attitude, do my best. Work very hard for A levels and also "turning aside" to God! 2010 will be great!

Forgive

2009-12-16T23:12:00.001-08:00

"Life is too short to beat myself up over what's done in the past. I choose to forgive myself and forgive others."

Unfailing love.

2009-11-15T07:12:00.000-08:00

On this day of your life, Jasmine, we believe God wants you to know ... that it's time you remembered who you really are.

You are not your wallet, your job, your kids, your house. You are not your activities or your worries or the labels other people give you. Like an actor you play these roles, and like a good actor you sometimes forget who you really are. Time to wake up now, and remember that you are a being of immense power and breathtaking beauty created in the image of God.

[facebook application]

Sometimes in life, I guess there are somethings that is not you want or not. But when it's time that you'll just have to obey God, you just have to tell God: Yes God, I will do it. No matter how scared or how afraid you are. You know that is the fear of the Lord.

Today is a day to remember. Pastor Tan's bible-study sessions just blew me off spiritually, emotionally! So meaty, so insightful, so valuable! No regrets of coming today at all. Pst Tan is so anointed! Towards the last part, when he talks about Jesus coming with a redemption plan, starting of the church, it made me teared, could feel the presence of God so thick. It was so good.

So grateful & thankful that God has chosen me and that I've come to know God in my life. - My Lord, My Saviour, My Father, My Bestfriend. Today once again, God touched my heart so much. Singing Because of You just like I'm singing it for the first time. Full surrender.

Many times I've failed again & again, I let You down, I made mistakes, but You never never gave up on me. Who am I that You will know me from the start? Who am I to deserve all these? Your unfailing love surrounded & healed this broken soul, this broken heart and made it complete once again.

Freedom. Thank You Jesus.

Few weeks ago as I was in worship, I was scared and worried about some things, and I felt Jesus showing & telling me at the same time, I can look up to Him as my Heavenly Brother. I needa find those Scriptures about this! He will be there to listen to me and to guide me. To bring my fears away. Really felt so encouraged.

lovely friday night

2009-11-13T10:38:00.000-08:00

spent my entire day with weiyin today from amazing race preparation in church till the dinner at night! haha she's really someone nice & comfortable to be with :)

we loved our food totally. good & value! we were happy girls :)

had lotsa of fun talking about the dreams i have, the different kind of shops that i want to open. it was really hilarious saying them out, but the more i say, the more excited i get. i really wish to make some of them come true. Weiyin was so funny that she even help me think of the locations and i think Vali & Moo think I'm mad! Hahaha.

2012 2012 2012 2012. Moo & i were talking about this on the bus home.

You think so? I don't know, but we decided that we'll trust God and not fear.

Greater things have yet to come.

Goodnight world!
Tomorrow will be great & Sunday's bs with Pst Tan is rlly going to be like boomz!

2 Corinthians 12:9

2009-11-07T08:26:00.000-08:00

For the past few days, I've been seeing & hearing this from God, "It is in the weakest that you'll find me the most."

2 Corinthians 12:9
"And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

Matthew 9:12-13

"...He said, "Healthy people don't need a doctor - sick people do." Then He added, "Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: 'I want you to show mercy not offer sacrifices.' For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners."

Reading Cast of Characters - Common people in the hands of the uncommon God by Max Lucado, it's really an insightful study of different characters in the Bible, and how we are just like them.

And the story about Matthew spoke to me. Though in the Bible, it's only a few verses or passages long, but through the words of Max Lucado, it really helped to open my eyes so much more.

I'm so inspired to read, study & know the word of God so much more. In not just one dimension, but just like Pastors & Mae-ann, dimensions.

More than just doing well in school, being successful, what God really cared more was our hearts. The condition of our hearts. He came for the "sick" people.

I really love God for just who He is. He doesn't care about how rich or how poor we are. He doesn't really care about whether we are top in class. But He just loves us so.

Though Matthew was a tax collector, Jesus didn't despise him, and He even asked him to follow Him and ate with him on the same table with the other tax collectors.

God really taught me not to despise, not to judge others.

Sometimes, it is just so hard to believe in someone. Not to maximise weakness, but maximise their strengths, it's going to be so different! More water crystals birth forth! Boomz!

It always have to start with someone, isn't? Why not me? :)

I believe I believe I believe. Faith faith faith.

This challenge will stand in the test of time, yes it will. I believe in you! You will when you believe. I see it happening. I see you as something so much greater. I see you fulfilling your dreams. I see you answering the higher calls from God. I see you with a happy life. I see you with a happy family. I see you with great peace & joy in your heart. I see you becoming a leader.

Today, I learnt this from someone. And I'm really so happy for this someone. Unless you decide that you want to help yourself, if not even the greatest help offered to you from God will be of little use.

Because we know, God never force us. He loves us. He gave us freedom.

Thoughts

2009-11-01T19:06:00.000-08:00

A great great weekend had just passed.

Before I forget, let me capture all them down.

I heard "fishers of men" during the last part of worship yesterday.

Went home to look up in the Bible.

" And Jesus, walking by the Sea of Galilee, saw two brothers, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen. Then He said to them, "Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men." Matthew 4:18-19

Wow, it really spoke to me. Felt like God is telling me, whatever is happening is just the beginning.

And like how amazingly it coincides with the CCH sermon being preached this week about Simon Peter. Really feel God encouraging me that I am a solid rock! I will not be fragile reed!

Truly, eye has not seen, nor ear heard. Nor have entered into the heart of mine.

Fishers of men.

God, let this vision enter and be embedded deep in my heart.

I see it as a reality in my heart.

I want to be like Abraham!

" When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn't do but on what God said he would do. And so he was made father of a multitude of people. " Romans 4:18(The message)

Just a little little more. Give me a little bit more patience and perseverance. I know it is all possible! The harder it is, the more powerful it is going to be.

The sick will come to Him and be healed. Fishers of men, fishers of men.

Open my eyes, and let me not be myopic.

Faith faith faith!

Happy 18th Birthday ♥

2009-10-26T10:17:00.001-07:00

I'm 18 already! Everything that had passed in the past 18 years feels likes it's just yesterday.

Let the pictures do some talking first! :)

Thank you Wanchin for pouring in so much heart & soul into making this ultra beautiful cute ttm birthday card! It's the biggest, nicest & most preeettty card I've ever received in my life so far.You've really got lots of creative juices flowing in ur brain! :)

I don't know how to explain the feeling when I was reading all these messages on my way to YYC. The journey to Yishun's like 1hr, but I felt like it was only 1/2hr. Couldn't stop smiling when I read all these messages! They really really warmed my heart :)

The very awesome 09A06

The best CLL classmates you can ever have :)

My beloved alienated & colourful friends :)

Josie! I'll miss you so much. Take care back home, you're such an amazing woman. One with great perseverance, patience and love. It's your husband's blessing to have you as his wife! Happy & blissful marriage :)

18 years of my life had passed.

How do i feel? I feel like I'm mature, yet I feel I still have a kid in me. Somehow yes, a little fear about growing up. Things are really different now. 18. People telling me so many things that I can do. Yeah more freedom in the physical world - drinking, driving, smoking?

A new phase of life. Looking back, thank God for placing thanatophobia in my life. Thank you so many people who've helped me through the hardest and most difficult period in my life. Mum, Felicia AY, Lianlian AY, Sharon AY, Dr Low, Wanling, Kenneth, Cheryl, Xiumei laoshi, Pearlyn. So grateful to all of them. So grateful for the new life in Christ.

From where I begin in dec 07, reading through the little reflections I jot down during QT, the stuffs I wrote, I've really grown up. If not for what have happened, I can never imagine the kind of life I'm living now. I really love my life now. Thank You Jesus :)

There's so much so much more to the future. I just can't stop or give up. No matter how hard it is, obedient perseverance! patience! faith! The visions will come to pass at the appointed time.

Although I didn't seemed like I was surprised by the girls in school, but really really I wanna say what all of you have done really really touched me deep deep in my heart already! I'm not good at expressions :/ Sorry!

Especially the big card, the messages, they are the best! Knowing that so many people care & love for you, that's something you can never buy with money.

Just wanna say a thousand millions THANK YOUs to Wanchin, Jessica, Xinying, Ngamkey, Ruiting & Eeteng for making this 18th birthday such a sweet one with POCOYO(my 'son'). Thank you for the presents! Thank you for going the extra mile asking people for messages, thank you for everything everything :)It is a blessing & treasure to have each and everyone of you in my life. Life would be so much boring without you guys in school! No more nonsensical talks, company and support, encouragement and what not.

Thank you CHEW FUNG QI for being such an awesome & weird friend! Hahaha. I will remember what you say in ur msg :) I wanna grow old tgt with u, wanna see u get married, wanna see ur children and i'll never forget what funny acts u always do. Well, words are just beyond what I feel for you! Love you loads! :)

Thank you Peijun for bringing me into my place of destiny in HOGC! :) You're the best lah! Love all the times we had together and there'll be so many in time to come! Truly I don't think I will be a strong Christian if not of coming to HOGC. Thank you for always being there! Love you!

Not forgetting my beloved family, My wonderful supermommy! My dear aunties and cousins! :)Love them ttm! They are the most most important people in my life.

And also all the wonderful people who remembered my birthday.

Doesn't matter if there's no presents or not, but the thought that you remembered my birthday is enough to fill my heart with so much love & warmth :)

Just last 2 photos of my beloved cat-friend wanchin!!

Because of You.

2009-10-17T12:14:00.000-07:00

Because of You, I was born again

Because of You, I’m ransomed by Your grace

Because of You, my heart has found a home

A refuge for my soul

Because of You, sins are washed away

Because of You, heaven knows my name

Because of You, I can live again

You’ve broken every chain

Unfailing Love, so unreserved

You gave Yourself on Calvary

And now I stand, forever free

My Saviour rescued me

Because of You, the weak say "I am strong"

Because of You, the broken have a song

Because of You, there's no need to fear

Hope steadfast, ever sure

Now heaven, be open

Our God is, unshaken

We worship, Christ risen

High above

Now heaven, be open

All kingdoms, all nations

Declare that You are God

Better than Kelly Clarkson's Because of you.

This is such a beautiful song.

It touches my heart so much.

In the atmosphere of worship, tears flowing,

God's presence's so precious...

meant so much to me.

My dream last night.

2009-10-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, I had a super weird dream last night!

I dreamt that my mum was forcing me to agree to marry someone I didn't like.

And she said you will marry him 2 days later.

Oh my mama. It was kinda scary!

Ahhh and I could see that guy's face =.=

When we were about 6, 7 yrs old, we were pageboy & pagegirl for my aunt & uncle's wedding. It was like so long long time ago already!! And that guy was that pageboy.

I was asking my mum in the dream: How can you ask me to marry someone I don't like? And you don't even know if he is willing to anot!

And then that guy said: I don't mind. Although the 5th time has failed, I don't mind trying the 6th time.

=.= =.= =.= =.= =.= Don't ask me why 6th time? Because I can't figure it out too.

This is so random, weird & funny!!!

Can someone interpret for me?

On another note, thanks Moolulu for the cutesy little hippo :) I really like it very much!

Sometimes, it's hard.

2009-10-15T05:45:00.000-07:00

Each time when it gets tougher, I remind myself of how You've found me.

Thank You for finding me, Thank You for saving me, Thank You for loving me.

As I read those messages, see those photos, recall the days, listen to the songs, my heart never fail to overflow with gratefulness.

I can't wait to fly. For a while, how I wish for some serenity.

This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

Move move move!

2009-10-14T06:32:00.000-07:00

For the fun of it, the God wants You to know application on facebook says:

On this day of your life, Jasmine, we believe God wants you to know ... that work begins when you don't like what you are doing.

Little children can do the most amazing things with such joy and fun. You were little once too, and knew how to turn everything into a game. So, turn your work into a game, and you will find joy and satisfaction in it. What are some ways you can start being playful with work?

Hmm. just being random.

Sometimes what comes out of this application can be rather true and relevant in my life. Haha.

Really kinda feel my engines are abit rusty. Couldn't move as fast as I could, switch as fast as I can like in the past.

It's a whole new season. I feel God testing me.

Do I look at things in life in limitations or unlimited potential?

Am I willing to still do it even when I know there's not even 70% certainty in it.

I really miss the purity & simplicity in many many things..

Grow grow grow.

Greater capacity. Bigger hearts.

Others before me.

O God, renew my strength, my heart, my soul and my mind.

Family Day!

2009-10-11T07:18:00.001-07:00

Learnt cooking from Mommy today! :)

Sometimes, we just too take it for granted that dinner will be served infront of us.

Mommy's the best! She cooks with the best ingredient that you can never buy: Love :)

When you eat what you've cooked, there's so much contentment! Food taste exceptionally nicer. And you learnt to appreciate the heart & hardwork of those who cooks everyday for their families ungrudgingly.

Love spending time listening to Mommy talk. I hope her body aches will cease soon, no more backache, leg pain, hand pain. Go go away! Can't wait for 25 Nov where she can just relax with the nice weather & green grass.. cherries plucking.

Yesterday was phenomenal. I was totally sucked into the sermon when Pst How was preaching.

Really insightful & impactful! Guess alot of times, it is the conditions of our hearts. When u r hungry & open, u'll definitely receive!

BF Pledge. I felt the last prompting frm God during worship, and I pledge. I don't really know how, but I know I will accomplish this challenge. May not gonna be easy, but I told myself, now is the time, I am going to give God my best! I don't want to regret in future. I will live by faith and not by sight. Felt so joyful and happy when I put the pledge card into the envelope.

Was sharing with Fungus about the image that God showed me during worship ytd, and I felt it was so surreal. Though some parts of it are rather funny to her, but I really can't wait for it to come to pass.

Am really glad that Steph, Susu & Jess were with us yesterday! They stayed for dinner & hangout :) For such a long time, finally.. we breakthrough 2. No longer just PJ & me, more will come into the place of their destiny!

Susu is very funny.

He just texted me this: When is jasmine's birthday ah?

I replied: Jasmine's birthday is on 25 Oct :)

He: Ok! Thx!

Okies, my expression now is like that =.= Hahaha.

Promos are over.

2009-10-09T05:32:00.000-07:00

Promos officially ended!

But I don't know why, I don't feel exceptionally happy.

Just feeling relieved.

Perhaps there are just too many things on my mind all these while.

Went straight to Ikea with Ngamkey after CSE paper today for meatballs!

We bought quite alot of food, like a mini-feast. 2 happy & contented girls :)

Jessica didn't come because she went to cut hair! Again!

Everybody has been saying that Maths paper was okay, I think I couldn't really do it.

But I really tried my best to do the paper already.

Trusting God and leaving all the unnecessary worries into His hands.

Oh yes, I saw Mrs Goh in school today and I really felt so happy.

I could feel the passion for GP whenever I see her hahaha, she never make me feel that GP is sian. Really hope she'll be taking over Ms Kit and teach A06!

Exams finally over. Freedom!

Time to do so much more for all my kids and the people in my life.

BF season. It's like embarking on an adventure!

A season of faith-pulling and total reliance on God. I can't wait to see amazing & exciting stuffs happening during this time. Really believe God is going to move in great ways.

Going to plan properly and pray over them :)

Hahaha yay. Finally can read all the books waiting to be read. Catch up with my bible-reading.

Spend more time with God. Spend more time with family. Spend more time with friends.

Watch CSI Miami :)

So many many things that I wanna do. We are truly living in a fast-paced society. We always think that we can have more time if we finish up our work faster. But that's an illusion because we will always end up packing the free time with even more things to do. Not a moment to be slack!

Okies gotta go. It seems like my thoughts are everywhere.

Post-exam syndrome, over dosage of memory work.

Time flies!

2009-10-05T04:50:00.000-07:00

Wah, time fliessss!

It's been 1 month or so since I last blogged.

Taking a 'lil break while in the midst of PROMOS.

I'm giving my best. God says I am a conquerer with Him in me.

He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world.

I can i can i can i can. I will pass MATHS!

Just barely 1 mth, but I felt like so many things have changed.

Oh, Happy day happy day!

Will be back very soon again!

《歌》

2009-09-01T02:17:00.000-07:00

词：徐志摩　曲：罗大佑

当我死去的时候亲爱

你别为我唱悲伤的歌

我坟上不必安插蔷薇

也无需浓荫的柏树

让盖着我的青青的草

淋着雨也沾着露珠

假如你愿意请记着我

要是你甘心忘了我

在悠久的坟墓中迷惘

阳光不升起也不消翳

我也许也许我还记得你

我也许把你忘记

啦……………

我再见不到地面的青荫

觉不到雨露的甜蜜

我再听不到夜莺的歌喉

在黑夜里倾吐悲啼

在悠久的坟墓中迷惘

阳光不升起也不消翳

不知道为了什么，这首歌让我突然好感伤。

听着听着，唱着唱着，想起了外婆。

虽然与她相处的时间不长，但我好想念她。。。

好久没有听着歌感动流泪。

没有精炼的歌技，简单的旋律，满满的含义，

简简单单就够了。

i hope the worst is already over.

2009-08-21T20:30:00.000-07:00

Things in life are getting much better..

Came across Sharyl's blogpost few days back, and I really agree with what she said.
I've never cried so badly before anyone else, but only my God.

I let it all out, lift them up, let go, and let Him.
Cried like a baby, running into the embrace of her father,
All the trapped frustration, doubts, thoughts, feelings, everything....
Gone in the sweet sounds of worship...
In His presence, there was peace in my heart, my soul, my mind.
Release. Freedom.

Yesterday had great time lunching with RT & ET, spending the afternoon together with them.
I like talking with them :)
It's just amazing how people cross paths to each others' lives..

Some adding a new page to the lifestory, some a new chapter, and some who stays throughout. Adding new colours, supporting, enhancing the journey.
I treasure these precious ones.

在短短几十年的人生里，真的。。太多事物都在我们控制之外。

很多时候，我好希望自己能够把全部都容下，
但发现，我真的不是超人，我不是神。

也许，有些事，我应该放开，放手了。

???

2009-08-18T08:12:00.000-07:00

I just feel like saying, or instead shouting AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Feeling so vexed! ):

So what even if there's resistance?
How I wish I could...
I wanna get out of this horrible feeling!
Let my mind stop spinning with these thoughts!
Don't wanna remain status quo anymore.

LIFT LIFT LIFT!

The climb.

2009-08-12T00:25:00.000-07:00

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

***********************************************************

Wow, I really love the lyrics to this song :)

Too many thoughts, too much to say.
Better not said be said.
They are not important anymore.
What is important is what's ahead of me.

I gotta lift up my spirit.
Not a matter of I will but I must already.

Nothing you say will beat me down.
Nothing you say will make God love me lesser.

All I need is to be me.

The next level.

2009-08-01T10:31:00.000-07:00

So inspired by the book of James, it speaks so much into my life now.

Really feel so encouraged by a lot of the verses in there, too many to list...

In particular,

^{" 19} So then,my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; ²⁰ for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

²¹ Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.

²² But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.

²³ For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; ²⁴ for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was.

²⁵ But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does."

- James 1:19-25

Jasmine! It's not just about THINKING in the head in your mind anymore. It is time to make things HAPPEN, to make things MOVE, to EXECUTE!

"For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also."

- James 2:26

Just like how a body without spirit is dead, how faith without works is dead, thinking without action is dead too.

So powerful.

Studies, CCH, everything - Feeling hard-pressed especially after today, but Yes I will breakthrough! All things are possible with God.

Your ways are higher than my ways. God, lift my thoughts. Let me fly on eagles' wings. No limitations.

Oh, lift it higher.

refreshed.

2009-07-28T08:22:00.000-07:00

It's been ages since I last touched netball.. I told coach hundred years haha.
Like 5 years ago?

Went netball training tgt with Mel earlier on and it was hilarious.
I laughed and laughed, extra workout on top of the already-very-exhaustive training.
Exhaustive but enjoyable to exercise in the night with the night breezes visiting us.
Refreshed after my bath, happy :)

Did up my general workplan/revision schedule for submission to Ms Norzian.
Yes, happy & satisfied with what I've done :) The late nights spent are worthwhile.

I'm going to be married to Mr. workplan of mine for the next 9weeks.
Going to stay committed, focused and be faithful to it.

My invisible hardwork + God's strength = Jasmine is going to do well for her Promos :)

Surprised 2 weird people(hahaha!) with something random, weird and not usual.

Found some treasures on LMS for GP ; and decided that I shall share it with Ngamkey & Jessica. Printed them, binded nicely, wrapped up and gave it to them!
They were so excited...Little did they expect it to be....

Guess they'll never expect to receive GP Essay & Compre skills notes as gifts before.
Hope that it'll really help to bring their fears of monster GP away and think of it as fairy GP :)
GP is fun, GP is cool, GP is exciting ok, GuaiKey & Jess! Jiayou, you all can do it !

Wow today's GP tutorial we talked about : Women. Can't live with them, can't live without
them. How interesting isn't? :)
Our grp did the qn on : It is impossible to achieve Success without failure.

Quoted Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000hr rule from Outliers in substantiation of a point and Ms Lam likes it :) She read that book too! Haha It is truly a best-seller.

Liked what Ms Lam said today, "Life will keep throwing you the same problems until you rectify them. Failure motivates you to change, and only when you change then you can progress to success." Otherwise, it's really like a vicious cycle, it will keep coming back to you. How true is this.

She's just a intellectual person :) Hope that she'll have a happy delivery!

Just realised that I've been spending lesser and lesser time online since last week. Broke my record of not coming online for 2 days. Yay, it's an achievement :) This sacrifice is good! You still got to pay a price if you want to do something well right.

Deuteronomy 28:13. The head and not the tail, above and not beneath.

I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me.
God, let Your light shine.

yay(:

2009-07-22T07:42:00.000-07:00

Today's weather is really nice.

Packed and organised my study table.
It looks so fresh, neat and nice now(:

My table seems like saying to me, "Come, come and study."
Hahaha.

I'm really very motivated to study hard now, especially because of AE!
Thank God for wonderful pastors!! :)

Really glad that I'm enjoying the studying process for Promos revision now.
Not studying just for the sake of studying anymore.

Am starting to love maths all over again.
Squeezing something out of yourself to pay attention and focus really works.

I want to be of a different generation. One who will love school, love studying.
Acquiring knowledge is fun. I love my life :)

Drafting out a general workplan for the next 10 weeks. Planning is cool.
So much clarity in the mind, I can feel more FAITH rising.

Mind-mapping for my kids' lives are even more cooler! Committing myself to fulfil each issue that I write down. Their futures are really going to be amazing!! Lives never to be the same again.

One verse that always keeps me going, assuring me. God's promises are always faithful.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." - Matthew 6:33

Amazing wk!

2009-07-20T04:15:00.000-07:00

I think I haven't switched my time zone back yet.

God is faithful. God is good.

Amazing week that had just passed, really.

2 groups of people whom you live with, so familiar with, yet they are not familiar with each other. Finally, got to meet each other.

Standing at the 13th floor balcony, I was looking out for them. Mixed feelings.
Was so happy, so touched and yet so anxious.

"Who compares to You, who sets the stars in their place..."
Worship begins, unknowingly I begin to tear. A little overwhelmed.
Perhaps it's because you knew you fasted, prayed & work hard for it and it finally happened.
Touched by the presence of the Almighty Lord.

Back into CCH.
Was just so amazed by my cousins - Pam, Clar & Shawn (:
Shawn wasn't afraid of the new environment at all, participating enthusiastically in the games.
Watching him grow up, it was my first time seeing him sitting still & paying attention for such a long time.

Prayed for Pam & Clar. Though they were not used to it, don't really understand...
But I believe God has sown a seed into their hearts for something greater.
In my mind, I saw a greater & amazing future for the 3 of them.
In my heart, I feel a burden for them, because they're going to grow so much more to what God wants them to become.

Exceedingly abundantly, God blesses. I am so grateful :)
Am really happy that Jessica came too, glad that she knew God in a deeper perspective, glad that she understood Pst's sermon, glad that she learn something. I know she's going to be amazing.

I can't wait for what is going to happen in the near future.
Jessica T is simply inspiring, such hunger, fire, such strength in her for God, she's going to be a difference maker. Sabrina is so going to grow too.

On another note, reading a good book now: OUTLIERS
Such an eye-opener!!

10,000hour rule; what a perspective!
But what impacted me more was, after reading much on this chapter, I come to a conclusion that: God allow things to come and happen in seasons.

I believe Bill Gates, Paul Allen and all the top-notch software designers, IT pros in the field will not attain their success if not of their early advantages, opportunities etc. More importantly God allowed and planned for them to come together at the right time.

Success is not just as simple as what you & I think. It's not exclusively of a matter of individual merit. Grab the book and know more!

My 'thank yous' will never be sufficient for Your greatness Lord.
Whatever it takes for mum, for them.
I know greater things have yet to come.
FAITH FAITH FAITH.

Blown.

2009-07-12T08:04:00.000-07:00

Friday. Saturday. Sunday. Tuesday
4 awesome days in the best place with the best people on Earth!

Dr. A R Bernard
Pastor How & Pastor Lia
Mae Ann
Leaders meeting

Wow, what a significant history-making moment for HOGC & life-changing for so many of us! Services with Dr Bernard literally just blew me far far farrrr away!!

I was really so inspired by what he preached! When Dr Bernard spoke, he immediately captured people's attention. There was such an anointing flowing through him! Even when I'm back in school on monday, I feel so spiritually filled, excited and joyful(: I love my life because it's filled with so much WOW-ness!

The 2 dimensions of SUCCESS; 10% visible & 90% invisible. - What a perspective!

Yesterday's leaders meeting with Pastors was so powerful! So inspired by the 90% invisible - unseen hardwork & preparation that they've been ploughing and ploughing over the years. Truly, in HOGC, we use the church to build people and not using people to build the church. A place of genuine people, real love, warmth & acceptance - I am so grateful and blessed to belong to a great church like that (: No where else I will ever want to go.

Can I tell you too how amazing the kids in CCH are? Last sat we had CCH BMT, and I was so inspired by all those who went. Our church is really not just a normal church, we are so much more! We are supernormal!

The attention span of youths in American churches is within 30mins, but for us we are used to 1 hr or even more, and the more amazing thing is the kids in CCH can also sit and listen to Mae Ann share up to more than an 1hr. Isn't this incredible? They are so so hungry to learn! I was also so inspired by the way Mae Ann shared with so much passion, enthusiasm and anointing!We will accelerate and explode, yes! History makers, World changers!

How much we're doing are incomparable to what Psts have sacrificed, there's so much so much more that I can do in this lifetime for others. Doing the mundane, Loving the mundane. We will reap what we sow in due time if we do not lose heart. Galatians 6:9!

It doesn't matter anymore if I have lesser now, It doesn't matter if it means I have to forgo the things I like to eat, buy.. It really doesn't matter anymore. It is no longer I who lives but Christ who lives in me. How can the $20, $30... be compared to what You've done for us, gave for us. It is never comparable. Sacrifice with a cheerful heart(: I want to be a value-adder & multiplier to people's lives and not value-subtracter or divider.

And yes yes yes! Felicia AY & family's going to come for AE this saturday!! Mum hasn't really agreed, but I am really believing with all my heart SHE IS COMING! SHE IS COMING! SHE IS COMING! SHE IS COMING! P.U.S.H ; I will keep on praying & fasting until something happens! I can really feel it.

God, I'll do whatever it takes.

Here I stand, forgiven
Here I stand, holy and righteousness
You've paid the price when You laid down Your life
Jesus, I surrender all

And I'll walk with You in my heart
All I'll walk with You in my heart
Find me at the cross down on my knees
Thank You Lord saving me

The pencil story(:

2009-07-10T00:08:00.000-07:00

Wow,I was just reading Shipei's blog and came across with this which I find it really powerful.
And I decided to kop it here and share with u too! (:

A passage from Paulo Coelho's Like the Flowing River...

A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter.
At one point, he asked "Are you writing a story about what we've done? Is it a story about me?"

His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson:
" I am writing to you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I'm using. I hope you will be like this pencil when u grow up."

Intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil. It didn't seem very special.
"but it's just like any other pencil I've seen!"

"That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on to them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.

First quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. We call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will.

Second quality: now and then, i have to stop writing and use a sharpener. that makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he's much sharper. so you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person.

Third quality: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes, this means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on road to justice.

Fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. so always pay attention to what is happening inside you.

Finally, the pencil's fifth quality: it will always leaves a mark. In just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action."

AHH!

2009-07-09T04:32:00.000-07:00

Hello world.

Okies, first paper back, haha I failed my maths ):

And I counted, starting from tomorrow, it'll be officially 12 weeks away from Promos.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

12 weeks, 3 months, approx 90 days, to not walk, briskwalk or slack... but it gotta be CONSTANT JOGGING or RUNNING from now on already.

There are simply so much yet to be covered. The pace is just crazy! Haha. Gotta run faster to close up the gap!

When nearing the last 2 weeks, I'll be at full speed i guess.

Can't afford to fail promos anymore, I can't re-do J1 again.

Just did some planning, and allocate fixed times of everyweek to do MATHS. I've made a decision that I will fall in love with maths no matter how hard it is, and keep doing maths until I love it like mad again.

"You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." - 1 John 4:4

JASMINE WILL OVERCOME AND CONQUER MATHS. GO GO GO !

Okies, I think things aren't too bad. I am not procrastinating anymore and I am actually planning for my study schedule for the next 3 months. With that, I'll be able to bring everything to a balance, not just keep studying but also ensuring my part in doing every other thing right and well. DISCIPLINE! - no more late nights waiting for 2am CSI!

Thank God, I've been thinking alot of FAITH FAITH FAITH whenever Fear pops out.
Byebye Fear-y monster. MY GOD IS BIGGER THAN EXAMS!

Preparation is not just discipline, it is an attitude! JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU Jasmine! (:

"Whatever you hands find to do, do it with all your might;" - Ecclesiastes 9 :10

Wow, the first ever total self-motivating post I wrote to myself, heh hehe (:
Whatever come may, I'll stand.

youth day! :)

2009-07-06T08:45:00.000-07:00

Went to the salon with my mother & S aunty today! And snip snip snip off alot ALOT of hair. My hair is so much shorter now. Ha, but it feels good to have lesser load on ur head, happyyy :)

Spent half of the day with S aunty at Tampines central eating, shopping and walking around. I finally found Outliers at Times, bought Max Lucado's Cast of Characters too!

Okok i shall stop calling her S Aunty k! Thanks ahyee for buying them for me(: Really can't wait to read the books, but I still got a few more books waiting to be read, gotta finish them soon..

Spent the other half of the day reading & packed my study-table partially. Wow, I really really love reading. I hope there'll be more cooling, nice rainy days to come.. best environment for reading for me! :)

Read about this which I really learn something from today:

The true test of relationships is not only how loyal we are when friends fail, but how thrilled we are when they succeed.

Many people identify with failures, yet only few identify with success.

I like this quote:

"The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you."
~ Entertainer, Bette Midler

Added on by John C. Maxwell; Don't look at your friends, family, and teammates as competition. Be the rare kind of person who is happy when others succeed.

Truthfully, it is not as easy as what it seems. It takes an extra effort to celebrate the success of other people who do what you do. But helping others to succeed, there's so much more joy regardless whether it benefit you or not, isn't?

Celebration principle - Yes i will (:

Thank God for a wonderful day today.

after exams.

2009-07-02T02:13:00.000-07:00

Couldn't help but to tear as I watch the SOP live worship videos on Youtube. The presence of God could literally be felt even though I'm watching it from the computer screen. So going to get the 14th album, powerful!

Yeah, exams' finally over, should I like be happy? GG-ed most of the subjects especially maths. Don't want to think about it anymore. Going back to school after such a long 'holiday' feels a little weird, nevertheless it's nice to see my lovely classmates again! (: Got to really start studying again, last minute studying won't work. We must act what we preach, be doers of the Word, be a living testimony! Yes yes yes actions speak louder than words.

I'm falling in love with strawberries & yoghurt, all thanks to the influence of Ms Fungus haha. But they are really good stuff! Went grocery shopping with mom just now, and we bought many strawberry-related stuffs. Hehehehehe.

Was just blog-hopping around few days ago, and I really thank God for giving this life that I'm living. I really really love the life I'm living in! Yeah Peijun! We love our lives :D Though life can be really tough alot of times not just sometimes, but the love, the strength, the power of God is just so amazing in keeping us going in whatever circumstances. I wouldn't be here anymore if God didn't picked me up in oct 07.

Pastor Joakim is just so cool, isn't he! OTHERS; such a simple yet powerful word. The world, with just one exception, is made up of OTHERS. It is no longer just about you, not about what you want. Sometimes thinking that we already know alot stops us from seeing the even greater things in life, I want to soar on eagles' wings, see things from Heaven's view and never stop learning.

Just feel that recently God seems to be speaking and showing to me about this person, and I'm really grateful to have this person in my life. Such a great sower, such a blessing, such a great support - someone you can trust and want to grow old together.

Ah my thoughts are like here and there, everywhere. I want to cut hair soooon!

2009-06-30T04:04:00.000-07:00

I wanted to say something, but I don't know why I can't seem to.

Elephants, shoo shoo.

2009-06-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

Feel so troubled.
Partly because I brought it upon myself.
And many other things.

Exam in few days time.
I'm totally unprepared.
Tmr's mock exam.
G R E A T.

Last week was a great week.
God promised this week will be the same if I faithfully obey Him.
Feel the Fear of the Lord over my life.
Obedience.

Weekends are going to be burnt out. But I will still choose to go.
Yes indeed like what Peijun said Faith without hardwork is dead.
I'm just going to do whatever I can, stop procrastination and trust in God.
Fullstop, not going to think of any other things anymore.
No rubbish, no nonsenses, no negative thoughts.
Elephants shoo shoo shoo.

I need some PEACE in my heart.
Thanks Val for the verse.

"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
~ John 14:27

my hope in Your word.

2009-06-22T01:15:00.000-07:00

" Turn my eyes away from
worthless things; preserve
my life according to Your word."
- Psalm 119:37

heehee!

2009-06-19T10:45:00.000-07:00

I'm back from D.E.O Camp! :)))))
Can't wait but just want to capture all these little thoughts down before I forget themmm.

It was a fulfilling 2 days spent together with DEOmates.
Haven't been to Sentosa for 456785243 years already, haha.
It was sunny, hot, fun and tiring! Great workout i tell you!

Was even more impacted by service with Dominic.
Building an altar for God; SACRIFICE.
When you want to give, it is truly God who provides. It just hit me.
You can never out give God, why worry so much?

Yesterday Jieru prayed for me and it really spoke into my situation, I really need to break the poverty mentally and breakthrough. Today's svc with Ps Troy and Ps Vince. Altar call was powerful; inexplicable. Prophesy!

Just love listening to my cgmates sharing, it is just so powerful how God has touched each and every life sitting beside me. Every vessel being filled with His unconditonal love. Eloise really touched me, I'm really happy for her(:

Night trail was crazyy! I held onto Cherie super tightly and screamed alot.
Waterbombs at 4am was fun. Total drenched.

HOGC is a truly a church that never sleeps.
Camps always make me love church evenmore, I don't care what people say..
HOGC is my home, a place of true warmth and love(:

I'm so inspired by the stories about how pastors sacrifice. Not just going to be a servant, but a daughter of His. I want to carry the burden of my heavenly Father's kingdom.

Tmr is going to be even better! Cwp & Eat all you can weekend! Gonna be real awesome!

I'm going to speak to these mountains, and cast them into the sea! FEAR, NO MORE!
FAITH FAITH FAITH!

happy day!

2009-06-16T08:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday i was down with a horrible fever the whole day, feeling like a worm.
Paralysed on bed, body aching, head spinning..

All thanks to Mum's cup of weird herb-y drink, and I'm okay today morning! (:

Went for a very awesome worship session in the afternoon.
Proclaiming in the Spirit, speaking to the mountains and casting them into the sea was just powerful. No more fear, but FAITH!

And I studied awhile with Yiwen & Annlynn at Kopitiam before I went off to meet Phoebe.
This funny aunty, called me at 3plus to tell me...she want to apologise because she thinks she can't make it! but then in the end she finished off her stuffs before 5pm! See told you, you can do it one! Nothing is impossible right, haha(:

We went to FROLICK!(: and aunty, she bought a very very very big & round bread which looks really hilarious! she brought into the cinema and eat it throughout the movie. I still really think it is quite funnnay leh. And I ate many things today that I didn't really felt like eating, I must follow my heart next time.

Watched Ghost of Girlfriends Past, and I think it is quite okay, something different lah. The guy in the movie seriously is corrupted with his values and everything, but fortunately he came to his senses towards the end of the movie. Not that horrible afterall. I wanna catch Drag me to hell! and the trailer of The Proposal made the movie seems interesting too!

Can't believe we actually sat down at Macs and talk without buying anything, and it was alittle crowded. Had a nice little chat in the midst of the buzz, problems and everything else in life, it was good(: Sometimes you just need someone to share about the happenings in life. I haven't even finish talking about the story and she's scared already! Haha, now she sees Macro Polo in a different light ya!

Time is running out. Study study study, I will I can! Sow & Reap. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, Yes I ought to remind myself this too. Jasmine will be the head and not the tail. Though I'm busy, but I truly really love what I'm doing and the life I'm living now. I love people(:

I'm so going to the Botanical Gardens & Jones after exams!

God is good.

2009-06-14T06:09:00.000-07:00

God is good all the time
He put a song of praise in this heart of mine
God is good all the time
Through the darkest night, His light will shine
God is good
God is good all the time

If you're walking through the valley
There are shadows all around
Do no fear He will guide you
He will keep you safe and sound
He has promised to never leave you

Nor forsake you
And His Word is true

We were sinners so unworthy
Still for us He chose to die
He filled us with His Holy Spirit
Now we can stand and testify
That His love is everlasting
And His mercies they will never end

Though I may not understand
All the plans You have for me
My life is in Your hands
And through the eyes of faith
I can clearly see

Trusting You with all my heart can give,
out of FAITH and not of FEAR.
I will not look to the left or to the right, but only lift my eyes upon You.
Glory to Your name, I love You Lord.

love,
jas

:|

2009-06-10T19:07:00.000-07:00

Had some good workout playing captain's ball and badminton with yiwen, valerie, shipei, annlynn, nicholas, hongrui, ryan, shengye and yiying last night, and I couldn't wake up today /:
It was really funnnnnnnn, we should play together more often!

Nevertheless, I'm still going to school later for Maths & Econs. yeah, good girl(:
We sat in the LT to copy copy and copy from the screen for 4hrs ytd, it was crazy, our eyeballs were about to pop out anytime, tiring, but amazingly i could pay attention.

.......................

有些故事不必说给每个人听
许多眼睛看得太浅太近

用简单的言语解开超载的心
有些情绪是该说给懂的人听

有些事我没说但我有感觉
有些事我没说但我知道结果

有些伤害造成，留下了永恒的疤

但发现，在时光流逝中。。。已经习惯，不在乎了。

都不重要了。

The entire population of the World - with One Minor Exception - Is Composed of Others.

insights.

2009-06-07T11:24:00.000-07:00

wow, what an exciting, awesome and hectic week. it's gonna be a long post.

How should i start?

30hr famine camp. I'm proud of myself(: I went there alone, though the rest wasn't going and I didn't regret though my week was hectic with 3 camps continuously. God really gave me strength. & I survived the 30hr fast!

The typical response, when people hear that I'm going/went for the camp was: Wah, siao. Crazy pay $30 to get starved for 30hours.

Oh wells, firstly it's not starving. I made a choice, so it's fasting. When you starve, you have no choice. I genuinely think $30 is worth the experience with the shirts, and stuffs we got, though I only had to pay $15.

It was a special and different experience. Whilst we always start any other camps by getting into our groups, know each other and get bonded, the camp kick start with a siren...

Earthquake. And we are all separated, lost, not with our family members. Upon registration, we were all given an identity card. I was an injured child of the CHINA, CAI family, haha. There were other identities such as Head, Grandparents, Adults etc. And they called for the Injured people to go to the hospital, Heads to the refugees camp to look for the refugees etc. Yay, our family finally unite and we got to build our shelter with newspaper, cardboard and stuffs. Then, we had to find a means of living, and so we all went to look for jobs. Our aim was to earn at least 80 sticks(money) in order for the family to survive.

The first job that we went for was the one at the Red Light District, hahaha. We got to hug trees and draw a heart on our faces to show that we did 'prostitution' symbolically. I think it was hilariousss, but was nevertheless very fun i thought(: Other jobs offer like only 1 or 2 sticks and 'prostitution' is so attractive cos it offers 5-6 sticks! Hahaha, and obviously, alot of people went to work there. Well, I guess this will be really true in 3rd world nations where people are really desperate that they have to resort to prostitution partly also bcos attracted by the relatively higher pay..

Little did we know there was a 2nd phase to the scenario! All the people who worked at the Red Light District are now HIV/AIDS infected, and my entire family got it haha. Ahh, and then it's either nobody wants to hire you or they give you very little pay like 1 stick.. The game sort of ended when everybody gathered back, and we are given 2 choices: To give up all the 80 sticks and prolonged the lives of the HIV/AIDS infected family members' lives or the opposite. Since we are all infected, we gave up the sticks, haha.

Thinking back, it's really something different. The people living in the 3rd world nations don't have the privilege to choose between a good and bad choice, but often between a bad choice and another bad choice.

The next morning, we set off to Tampines to collect old newspapers and old clothes. This was the time when I really started to feel the tiredness setting in, I wasn't really hungry but I was really sleepy. We started ard 9.30 till 2pm. At first, I still feel energised and alright. But as I walk more, the newspapers seem to be heavier, my hands start to become wobbly, I was walking very slowly and I kept yawning and yawning.

At around 11plus, all I had in my mind was.. faster faster finish these 6 blocks and we're done. But at that moment, something just hit me: Imagine, with an empty stomach, early morning, along the roads of Cambodia, the 10yr old boy couldn't go to school, cause his father is sick, his mum works in thailand, and he had to collect scrap to earn a living for the entire family.. For him, all he had in mind would probably be, if I don't collect something today, my family will go hungry again. And for that he'd done, he only gets less than US$1.20 everyday.

It may seem insignificant to you, but it was rather mind-blowing for me, at that instance, I could literally feel that something about the destitution, desperation he feels, but definitely not 100% of what he goes through, because it is never comparable.

Many many times, we watch videos on poverty and sigh: Hai, they are so kelian. They are so pitiful. Some shed tears. But the day later, or even moments later, we totally forget about it. Some of us think that it's too big a problem that we won't be able to change or help. There's a common myth that people think there are not enough resources for the people living in poverty, but the truth is that these people does not have the means or ability to get these resources for their survival.

This camp really reinforce what Pst How & Pst Tan preached abt poverty during AI conference. I'm so glad that we are playing a part in building the lives of others beyond the borders in Cambodia, Philippines etc. Behind the every face we watch in those videos, there's a lifestory to tell. And they all deserve to be loved by God, no matter how small their voice is, no matter how poor or rich they are, no matter how intellectual they are, their names are written on the palm of God.

We may not be able to physically go to these 3rd world nations to carry out humanitarian work like how Worldvision staffs do, we may not be able to donate huge sums of money to organisations. But.. it is often the little things we do that counts, because it makes a great difference.

They only need about US$1 or more to survive a day and get education. Don't you do think we can do something? I remembered Pastor Kong said this during Asia Conference last yr: We not just want to give help to these people but we want to give hope to these people. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Education is probably the best way out of poverty. I pray that they can sing their lifesongs to Him.

Worldvision is just amazing, they're just amazing group of people, so fervently serving the Lord with their love, passion and whatever they can give to these people. The power of His love.

children church camp!

2009-06-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

Feeling physically tired, but inside of me, I'm feeling still as excited, happy and crazy wahahaha!

It was really a B-L-A-S-T. Last year end's camp felt like it was just yesterday, and here this year's june camp has already come to an end.

Led JACOB together with Lawrence and we got 1st for the team award! Hooray(: My group members are really enthu people, esp. Jasman and Daryl who really led the cheer very well. Jovi really step up to a whole new level which I've never seen before, he's awesome man. Jewel is just as good too, she did not cry for mummy at night, she's so courageous!

Wow, i loveeee our cheer. Weili was helping on the first night brainstorming & trying out dancing with us too. We had balls of fun protecting the shoes, running like mad and helping each other in the shoe game, foam party race and everything else.

Admittedly, it was really tiring chasing and shouting for them, and to handle some who are more aggressive, I was really physically drained just talking to them and stopping them from fighting haha. But God just reminded me of His love for me, so that I can love and disciple them in a way that they know that it is out of love.

After the games, Jiayin was standing outside the toilet guarding, so I went to help out too. I had much fun talking rubbish to Jiayin while waiting outside haha, and these little girls are just hilarious! Especially the smaller and younger ones, either bcos they nv bathe themselves before or they are very blur. Grace & Natasha were giggling and giggling when they bathe together, it was really funny when I kept passing the wrong clothes to the wrong person. And Alex! She's the ultimate(: She went in for less than 2mins and came out with foam on her hair saying she's done, hahaha! I had to put her on the stool and helped her wash her hair at the basin, she's only 7 and she's really really really FUNNYYY!

And i think i really laughed alot alot alot alot during this camp because there were so many funny things! Especially Glenn's team cheer for Ezekiel! Although they are small, but they are really cute, funny and strong! I like Moses' cheer too, Yvonne really led the cheer very well and it was very creative :D

2nd day of the camp was really the most energy demanding day. From the foam party race with dunking machine and all sorts of water games to cleaning up till service and the the night maze which eventually only end around 1 am plus. But amazingly, the kids still have lots of energy! It was Jannah's first time staying overnight outside, she missed home and was crying for mummy. We comforted her, stayed there with her and thank God she was alright, she's so brave and I'm so proud of her. And after that she got so much energy that she doesn't want to sleep..haha.

SERVICE is the highlight of the entire camp man. It was so powerful. Mae-ann preached about SHMILY on the first night and True Love on the second. It not only impacted the kids, but it hit me so strongly in my heart. We were literally all crying out when we sang the very simple yet powerful : I have decided to follow Jesus, No turning back, No turning back... I like sharing John 3:16 to the new kids, and they are really smart and cute. They know what exactly sin is in their lives, praying with them just warms my heart.

Oh yes, our NIGHT MAZE is so coool!! Bringing those "walls" up really made me so excited, they look majestic though they're made of garbage bags. Jolie's idea simply rocks! But we really took much time and strength to tighten those walls, hahaha nevertheless it was fun and worth it when the lights are switched off and beautiful light sticks thrown in. I was suppose to hide at one corner to spray water at the kids when they come in, hahaha but I was so tired that I lie on the floor and fell asleep but I manage to jerk up when they ran in.

Time just flies and 3rd and last day of camp was here. Oh I really lovee Grace, Natasha and Gabriel Teoh alot! They are simply too cuteee(: They were showing Yanrui and me their gymnastic stunts, bending here and there, splitting etc etc. And Gabriel splited really well, he's so adorable! Then, we had a waterbomb war! and as usual everyone were just bombing like crazy. The camp ended with the prize ceremony and I'm really happy and proud for them, especially Keith and Wei Xiang(((((: I think something in them really changed, they are not that aggressive and rude anymore. Praise God for that!
Gabriel, Grace & Natasha (:

Grace & Alex splitting...

Other than the kids, I really enjoyed myself too, with the companion of serving with all the awesome teachers and helpers. And I got to know Gwen so much more during this camp, and she's now called Charkwayteow monster!(given by Dada) and I'm called Molihua Aunty =.= all thanks to Annlynn. Really had great fun with her, and also Wei en the Charkwayteow aunty and Jiayin, the Eat eat eat one and everybody else!!

Everyone were just so zai, especially Mae-ann, Carol, Vicki, Jolie, Yvonne, Dawei and the food people! I think they really really really worked veryyyy hard. Everything was just fun, teachers clean up was fun, debrief was really really really funny with Ahpek & Timo dancing their Timothy cheer and Glenn doing the Ezekiel cheer. CCH has got many hidden talents! (:

And yeah that wasn't how the day ended.. We went to have dinner together and played MAFIA! It's my first time playing with the teachers but it's really fun to play with and addictive. We just kept laughing and laughing and laughing. How i wish Fung can be here too.

I really didn't regret staying one more night at the camp, if not I'd have to miss out so many things. I wouldn't know that Jannah needed someone to be with her when she was afraid, I wouldn't be able to see the prize ceremony, wouldn't get to see Grace, Natasha & Gabriel doing their stunts, wouldn't got the chance to play Mafia with the teachers and so many many more..

Now, it's time to finish my holiday assignments and revision.. but nevertheless, I'm feeling so happy and satisfied, just so much joy inside that I'm going to mug cheerfully! Haha. And I just suddenly remember what Pst had preached: Busyness doesn't equate to Purposeful. Don't be someone who lives for a wrong purpose, deep down feeling empty and still thinking you're right. I'm glad I'm busy with a right purpose, secure.

I don't want to be a Marco Polo, I want to bring all the Kublai Khans out there in my life back to God.

I love CCH! I love my life! (:

i like...

2009-05-30T09:46:00.000-07:00

I like. (:

i like looking at the cute toddlers dancing & clapping to the praise songs along the balcony at
level 13.

i like the hungry faces of the kids in cch during games, they're so full of enthusiasm & hope.

i like the feeling knowing what I really love to do.

i like dreaming about the future.

i like lending my shoulders when you're tired and collapsing.

i like thinking images of my brother in zone F.

i like telling people, I love and I care for them(:

i like being touched when I know something were imparted into the kids during altar call.

i like to see mummy smile.

i like the vast blue sky, the mysterious wind, the comfy grass and the lalangs...

Life is good enough thinking about all these, random but they just bring a smile to my face(:
Remember, Faith smiles.

nice(:

2009-05-29T03:04:00.000-07:00

future husband?

haha today is a funny day, peijun's "tip-toe and kiss" thing is so fairytale like!
moomoo and me just can't help it but kept laughing away at the bustop.

peijun makes me laugh, because she looks especially funny when she talks about the qualities she hopes for her future husband. hahaha! Go read her blog, because it's so 花吃 lah.

we went to tp today to find weiyin and others, and after that she accompany me to the clinic. and to thank her for her kindness, waiting for so long together with me, I made a promise that next time I will accompany her to the gynaecologist next time! hahaha(:

truly, i agree with peijun. Every woman is a man's missing rib, so interesting isn't? Just like how the Bible says:

" The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." ~ Genesis 2:18

"So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman',
for she was taken out of man.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." ~ Genesis 2:20-24

sometimes, sharing rubbish, dreaming the unseen future and talking about the "future one" can just be that fun and nice... enjoying the fellowship with one another.

i like talking to some people in my life especially, because they breathe words of hope & life into you, they lift you up when you're falling, because they listen, they understand and they care. Love them loads :)

Life's difficult, but I love my life!

June holidays(:

2009-05-28T00:08:00.000-07:00

It's time to really really buck up, and WORK HARD for me, I realised ever since syf ended, I've been rather slacky and not been on track. Ahhhh! It's time it's time it's time now before I just get sweep through the June hols accomplishing nothing when the horrible SA comes knocking on my door. DISCIPLINE!

Plan, Prioritise, Organise, Pray, Execute, Yes!

Agenda & Aims:
- CCH Camp; 31st May - 2nd Jun(:
- Horrible academic week lessons 8th Jun - 11th Jun
- Make up lessons for EC & MA ):
- CLDDS Camp; 4th -5th Jun
- Panorama 3rd Jun
- Random surprises for people! (This is exciting)
- Meet up with Phoebe; shopping and chit-chat!
- Spend lotsa quality time with God(:
- STUDY STUDY STUDY MUG MUG MUG VERY VERY HARD & SMART FOR SA.
- Worldvision 30hr Famine Camp; 5th - 6th Jun
(Amei's comingggg to sing for us at th finale!!)
- Disturb Ngam Key & Jessica as much as I can. Muahahaha.
- Catch up with Bible-reading plan.
- Tell the world that Jesus lives!
- Zone D Camp; 18th - 20th Jun woohoo!
- Meet up with Sharon AY for some good dinner and fellowship man!
- Love children, visit children, win children! (:
- Go running and train for 2.4km.
- Smile and laugh alot :)))))))))))))))))))))))))
- Eat nice strawberry yoghurt with pistacho granola, haha!
- Finish reading John C. Maxwell's book and get inspired.
- STILL STUDY STUDY STUDY TTM and DO WELL FOR SA!!!!
- Loving the unlovable.
- Go market with mommy, spend quality time with her.
- Read and digest the thick and scary Econs textbook by Sloman.
- Watch some nice Jap/Korea movies and music videos.
- Cousins movie outing!
- Lead a healthy lifestyle : Eat well, sleep well, exercise well, think FAITH & smile(:
- TEOHENG!!! with ALOT people.
- FIGHT PROCRASTINATION & Up my DISCIPLINE level!
- Meditate on God's word every single day(:
- Bake something!(its been really long)
- Pray like never before.
- Tell myself I will love MATHS I will love MATHS I can do MATHS I can do MATHS!
- Expand thinking aptitude, keep learning to look at things from different ways.
- Putting myself in others' shoes in whatever may happen.

Omg, I just type a whole big chunk of something!
And i think the list can like go on and on and on like a river..... wahahaha.
Okok, JUNE IS GOING TO BE AN AMAZING, EFFECTIVE, FRUITFUL, FUN AND HAPPY MONTH! Yes I believe, am going to be really serious about managing my JUNE and MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!

Ok I'm very excited now. ANTICIPATION!

mixed feelings.

2009-05-25T08:51:00.000-07:00

四伯伯，他走了。。。

Having not met my paternal family for the longest time, I was extremely uneasy, uncomfortable today. I don't know why, Iwas alittle scared, felt like crying. Mummy wasn't there. But thank God, the presence of my brother made me feel slightly better.

I'm just tired of hearing him boasting and boasting, talking so loudly to people. When will he learn? How I wish I could close my ears and run away. Enough.

The little test came. The taoist rituals began, he asked me to go over.

I told him: I will not hold any jossticks. The word NO was in my heart, and I started praying in my heart, talking to God while the priest chants and chants.

And rituals went on, one round after another. Exhausted.

All you want was face at the expense of others.

It just came so clearly to my heart once again today, though I don't have a good earthly father, but I know I have a Heavenly Father who always loves me and a great spiritual father in my life. Enough to surpass everything.

Tonight, I see things even more clearly.

I will have no other Gods before You,
Only You will reign as my heart's King.
I will have no other Gods before You,
I will put You first in everything.

With all my heart, with all my soul,
With all my might, I want to love You Lord.

A decision.

2009-05-23T21:02:00.000-07:00

Love is not just a feeling or emotion,
To love others is a decision.

Happiness is not just the facade smile on your face,
To be happy is a decision.

Only faith-filled people smile from the inside out.

We love because He first loved us. We love, because He is love.

Whatever may come.

Decision made, unhappiness shall ceased today.

?

2009-05-22T04:56:00.000-07:00

有点心烦，有点不舒服，有点不知道要怎样形容此刻的心情。

我想到海边去，闭上眼睛，听一下海浪声。我有点想要呐喊，可以吗？

这不是 emo，而是诚实地面对自己的感受。

人的一生，起起伏伏。。。谁又没有失落的时候？

我不在乎他人要怎么说，因为他们不了解。

也许他们以为他们了解，但其实他们并没有。

真的感恩，因为天父教会了我把每一个不好的事情当做成长，学习，更了解

祂，更了解自己的机会。耶稣恩友(: 撑住，加油！Hard pressed but not crushed!

近期看书，让我真的大开眼界，One of the quotes that really inspired me:

"People tend to be so busy putting others in their place that they don't make the effort to put themselves in someone else's place. When you don't want to change, you will look for differences in others. When you are willing to change, you look for similarities."

today.

2009-05-20T04:30:00.000-07:00

Dad's admitted to hospital today morning for his operation, prayed for him, believing that he will be healed. Everything will be alright, will get to see him tmr(:

Today's Sports day and I think I loved today! Got to like take some break from tutorials and homework for a while, hehee.

And I think it's just really nice spending time together with the CLDDS peeps, talking and eating after a few weeks since SYF ended. And I like mongster's drawing of everyone and just enjoying adding on to her drawings, laughing & joking.

Ahhh I can't wait to see REDRAIN!!! Really really really! Last year was the first time I attended RR concert, and I really loved all the songs! This year, it's surely going to be even more impactful. Anticipating with excitement!

spirit lift.

2009-05-18T02:07:00.000-07:00

Grateful that I'm in heart of God church, and not anywhere else.

Totally impacted, inspired by yesterday's service, more than just this, i felt an impartation, something more...

I would rather burn than bowing down to this world.

Mind-blowing.

The moment we all kneeled down, just felt this great swelling in my spirit, in my heart, I saw pictures of the people that I love and tears just couldn't stop flowing, just couldn't sing at that point of time.

His presence was just so strong throughout the entire time, I could literally feel that God is infront of me, pouring His assurance, His power, His love into my heart, lifting up my face with His hands, it felt really warm.

So precious.

Not just one touch, but God I yearn for more and more of You.

I love today(:

2009-05-15T10:29:00.000-07:00

Today has been a long day, but a GOOD AWESOME long day!
Yeah agree with Peijun, school was uber mundane. I zoned out during most of the lessons except for PE & CLL. Maths test = GG. Post syf syndrome, I gotta fasten my seat belt once again, and yes charge! Catch up with what I've lost out.

But after doing the torturous Maths test, a GOOD friday begins! Had lunch together with Peijun & Jessica at BK(: And we talked and talked and talked.. It was cool! I think we don't just talk rubbish, but we talk about things with depths yeah, agree? Haha. Feels so refreshed when you're with people of the same frequency.

And Jessica's getting funnier! Know how to say lame stuffs nowadays already, so cute lah she! :) Seeing that she's open and connected to us really warms my heart, thinking back from the first time I see her in choir, the little blur girl till now, someone fervently after the heart of God despite the odds she's facing in life. Her fire for God is just simply amazing.

We joked, We laughed, We talked on the train.. saw some weird people.Accompanied Ms Potato Aunty to Valender, ICA to collect her passport, and we went walking around the Jalan Besar shops, and the 3 of us shared and bought 12 very cute, sweet, and cheap files! You'll love them too man(: I bought sth for Xinying that she'll use too, hahas. But I had to rush off halfway to Orchard for doctor appt.

I'm so happy to see Doctor Low again after like 6 long months! Dr Low says I am doing fine, and good! She's just feels like a mummy, a friend to me, I shared with her what'd happened over these 6 months and the process was just enjoyable. She really cares for my life. What a wonderful blessing God gave (:

Haha, after I ended, I went back to find the 2 of them. And I spent 3 hours fellowship-shopping with Peijun at Tampines 1. My legs and back are aching! Though it was short, but it was really fun, funny. We must really spend more time together lah. Where's my Ikea meatballs?!! It has really been very long..

And my GOOD friday didn't just end like that, I'm starting to love conferences. Though it can long sometimes, but I really learn alot from Xiaoyu during these moments. I thank God for a great leader who really pours out her life and genuinely cares for us always. Such a privilege!

Everyday, the joy of the Lord will be my peace, my strength.

hmmmm...

2009-05-14T06:32:00.000-07:00

i was quite shocked when the results were out. and couldn't really accept it for awhile.
red roasted pork ribs?

gave our best. 问心无愧 already i guess!
Life goes on. But it was truly a great enhancement to life's experiences(:
something that I'll prolly never forget in my lifetime.

a beautiful ideal rest day + random

2009-05-12T23:54:00.000-07:00

I was just dreaming...

If i could spend just one whole day at an English countryside in Spring, with nice, mowed and non-pricky grasspatch beside a little cosy cottage.

One, where I can just lie down on the nice, mowed and non-pricky grass and look at how the clouds move, read a good book, sing nice worship songs.. or just simply enjoying the invisible winds sweeping pass.

And in the night, gaze the bright twinkling stars in the dark blue sky with a cup of hot chocolate together with my loved ones... just enjoying the wonders of nature that God has created.

How nice will that be! Out of the buzzing city dwellers' life, and into some serene and tranquil moments, a good time for QT(: Just the thought of thinking just makes me feel so relaxed from the complexity of everyday life.

The power of imagination.

I think I really like reading, this is so random, but I totally love the process of reading. Reading a good book just makes my day! (:

Am reading a book by John C. Maxwell, and I'm loving it! So much insights about people, others, so inspired by the little stories in every chapter. Truly, it's the little things that make a difference.

Oh yes, on another note, Jessica is really a nice person! Knowing that I didn't have liquid paper to use for the essay test as a result of some people(I'm not mad about this, but just irritated by the kind of attitude, can't help), she actually went to buy liquid paper! I don't know if it's really because she needs to use, cause I never see her using liquid before, but I just want to say she's really nice and understanding. Thank you jessica! (:

Pure heart!

Mother's Day.

2009-05-10T22:49:00.001-07:00

Mummy, 母亲节快乐。

祈祷着您能没病没痛，快快乐乐地过每一天。

但更满心期盼您回到祂慈爱，温暖的怀抱里。

想要对您说的感谢，一切尽在不言中。
谢谢您无微不至的关怀，在我最难受，最辛苦的时候倍半着我，
用您温暖的拥抱来保护我颤抖脆弱的心。

妈妈，原谅我偶尔的无知和固执，
谢谢您每次的体谅和了解。

妈妈，我只想跟您说：I Love You, Mummy.
让我牵着您的手，一起面对人生的旅程。

Which Are You?

2009-05-09T04:22:00.000-07:00

There are two kinds of people on earth today;
Just two kinds of people, no more, I say.

Not the sinner and saint, for it's well understood.
That the good are half-bad and the bad half-good.

Not the rich and the poor, for to rate a man's wealth,
You must first know the state of his conscience and health.

Not the humble and proud, for in life's little span,
Who puts on vain airs, is not counted a man.

Not the happy and sad, for the swift flying years
Bring each man his laughter and each man his tears.

No; the two kinds of people I mean,
Are the people who lift, and the people who lean.

Wherever you go, you will find the earth's masses,
Are always divided in just these two classes.

And oddly enough, you will find too, I ween,
There's only one lifter to twenty who lean.

In which class are you? Are you easing the load,
Of overtaxed lifters, who toil down the road?
Or are you a leaner, who lets others share
Your portion of labour, and worry and care?

"Which are You?"
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

This line " There's only one lifter to twenty who lean" just reminds me of
"The harvest is plentiful but the labourers are few." How true is this.

Though I've only been in there for a really short period of time, but I believe my spirit was sufficiently sensitive to tell me there are many unhappy souls.

Frankly, other than playing my part well, I really want to help but I don't know how I can. So I guess by not creating unneccesary nuisance or problems should help much.

Perhaps it's no longer just about how you feel, but how others feel.

Precious lesson learnt again: Never magnify your feelings and overreact more than the issue, because it usually expose that the response is about something else.

sick and down ):

2009-05-05T05:54:00.000-07:00

yup i wanna be a little superhero girl, but no doubt i'm still human.
my body's protesting for some proper rest! i guess i'm not that 潇洒 enough, I just can't don't care about my work and go to sleep no matter how late i return home, even one touch I'll still do it...

and there, I'm defeated. 生病了 ):
It feels uber horricableeeeeeee to be sick: CAN'T FOCUS, CAN'T DO WORK, CAN'T SWALLOW, CAN'T TASTE(everything's tasteless to me).... AHH!

3 more days to DRAMA SYF!

on our way back from ACJC yesterday, I saw Singapore Bible College! I've always heard about people in my old church talking and even now, but I've never seen it before. And finally saw it yesterday! Haha, the campus is really big though.. and if i'm not wrong, with 2 churches beside it.

one thing that I really find interesting, is that SBC is situated at Adam Road. Haha, yes ADAM. Contradictingly interesting yeah, but I believe there's a reason for the campus to be there(:

Off to th tons of tutorials! Pressssssssss on, just a little more!!!

.........

2009-05-02T06:08:00.000-07:00

it seems like to be in a battlefield for the past week..
physically and mentally challenged and stretched.

work that's never-ending, final rehersals for th past few days etc etc..
not that i wanna complain that i've got alot to do..
but just got this sudden feeling that things aren't as easy as before.
it seems like to take double th time, and double th effort to achieve something, but deep down i know there's something more that's happening which i prolly can't see it.

yes, undoubtly it's tough, but i must hang in there.
nothing is too impossible with Jesus.

we had 2 tests on tuesday - econs and cse.
i was alittle disappointed when everybody start to take out their references, notes & stuffs during cse test, copying away... but i'm proud to say I did not peep or copied any single thing from elsewhere in my test answers. Thank God, He gave me clear conscience and convictions which stand even in such situation. Although I didn't really study well, but I'll not feel ashamed even I do badly because I know what I did was right.

现在。。在生命这条强烈的急流中，我像是在逆水而流，但我告诉自己：绝不放弃。
因为我知道我可以，因为祂相信我能做到。

没关系，别泄气。
就算你觉得全世界都不了解你心时，记得上帝永远一切明了。

累了就休息。。
休息是为了走更长的路，加油加油加油！

2009-04-27T08:27:00.001-07:00

taking a breather from the suffocating revision for econs TEST(i insist to say this because making it sound like TIMED ASSIGNMENT doesn't help, school!) tmr...

today marks th 365th day I've been in Heart of God Church.
Time really flied, 1 year had passed...
when i think about exactly how 1 year ago was like, how this year has passed... there are just many thoughts, emotions and feelings mixed summing up in my heart and in my head.

but admist everything,
thank You Lord for bringing me to a place where I can truly call home, a place where I truly know I'm never alone again. thank You Lord for blessing me with great and good friends, inspiring leaders and awesome Spiritual parents. I will not have grown so much as a Christian if not of HOGC, just inexplicable 'thank yous' that I can never express through mere words.

it's really my privilege and blessing to be here, no where else I'll call a 2nd home.

back to th books!!! I shall rejoice in my heart, having faith that I will do well cause I pays attention in class and does my tutorials consistently (:

breakthrough to come!

2009-04-22T05:27:00.000-07:00

i really felt something during cg while worshipping today, like how xiaoyu shared about the song I give You my heart really inspired me. And similarly, today I sang this song with anticipation for God's presence to fill the room, I cried out from my heart to God sincerely, wholeheartedly.

And it just feel good, i really feel something, wanting more and more of His presence, just not satisfied, just want to continue to sing to Him on and on... It just touches my heart when Valerie was about to cry while she was sharing, the praying was powerful. Truly, when 2 or more come together to pray in agreement, God comes and releases His power.

God was just showing me when we pray, the world was shaking with thousands of the devil's army fleeing away. Today shall not be the same again, coming to God with an expecting heart, coming to God with a hungry heart, i believe and anticipate for breakthroughs!!!

Today is just awesome, because God just opened a door in which I can reach out to someone, i really believe with all my heart, that HOGC is the right home for her man and all the circumstances that's happening is God-enigneered. Yes, she'll be planted in the house of God!

I had a rather bad, weird, scary and realistic dream last last night, i dreamt about how the world was going to end... but i'm still thinking, because it's kinda weird. People say what's in dreams will turn out to be the reverse in reality.. Really? I don't know, but I know with God, nothing is impossible!

Pump pump pump faith into me! (:

(:

2009-04-18T10:20:00.000-07:00

Life is tough sometimes...
but when you live it by your own, it'll be even be more difficult.
carrying every load, every struggle, every pain on your own back and continuing the journey, dragging your feets on...

I asked myself, what is it that I really want in life?
Is it just good results, having good friends and being successful and rich?
God told me it's far way more than this that I can and will achieve.

Today, I'm learning to put God first above all things once again, not let anything to disllusion me. Learning to come to my most honest feelings and thoughts, because i know only when you are real, then God can change you. A genuine relationship with Him comes with my realness and brokeness, there's nothing I can hide from Him.

Thankfully, I don't have to lean on my own might, I can depend on His strength.
I know He understands every single feeling, thought I feel, everything I go through. I want to be like Smith Wigglesworth and Lester Sumrall, just so impacted by their lifestory. It's never too late to start to be a history maker.

FAST! yet L-O-N-G...

2009-04-17T06:46:00.000-07:00

this week has been a really fast, everyday just zoom past and it's friday already!
and weekend's gonna be busy again(:

feeling a little tired from the past few long days which ends around 7pm...
craving for some really good sleep and rest now man.

finally got back all my profiling tests results, did relatively fine for all subjects except for Maths. Got U for maths man.. Haha. I can't do Amaths, forget like 70% alreadyyy especially those details and specific stuffs. But gd thing is I manage to get the mark for Insights which many didn't get, heehee(: Well, going to prove that I am not a Maths-dummy during SA1, because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. He will give me wisdom(:

school's in a nearing crazy stage where there's lessons, CCA and STAR prog, so many things!
believe everyone is stretching maximum-ly when you come home late at night, sitting infront of your desk, attempting to conquer those loads and loads of tutorial questions and assignments, but in the end fall asleep half way because you're really tired.

But thank God, i press in during most of the nights and conquer most of those loads and loads of work. Though it's really sleep-depriving to do that, but it really makes me feel lighter in school knowing that my work are done! (:

Chinese Drama'll going for SYF in less than a mth's time, and really hope we can clinched a Gold for TPJC(: Believing that we will do it! Everyone's putting so much heart, and emotions into acting the drama, pray that they'll not be drained in their feelings, emotions, physical strength and thoughts.

2009-04-12T09:11:00.001-07:00

It's all about you want it or not.
You will when you believe.

They will come to pass.

coolness!

2009-04-10T09:23:00.000-07:00

i've just visited bakerella's blog, and it's just way toooo awesomeeeeeeeeeee ! can't help but to keep exclaiming, " So cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" and "Omg" all the way. You gotta take a look at her pretty cuppy-cakes, and since it's Easter, she has got so many super adorable cuppy pop-like 'Easter eggs'. if i were to receive such a sweet little thing on Easter, i guess i won't even bare to eat them at all. But in respect to Bakerella's effort and rights, I will not kop her pictures.

if you haven't seen Bakerella's blog before, you won't regret doing so!
if you haven't been there lately, quickly take a look at the newest cuppies, waiting to say hello to you. http://www.bakerella.blogspot.com

Trust me, you'll just instantly melt when you see the pictures(:

well, i'm also really happy today because my brother came for Easter service together with me. Thank you Lord for working in his heart, i know the day when I see my brother serve in sound/lights/video/livefeed/projection/photography ministry will come to pass very soon, having faith! :D

it's really a joy reading my brother's blog, just realised that he's actually really talented in designing and taking photos. though it's not professional, but i think he takes nice and unique pictures! sometimes, its really about looking at what we have, cherish them and not feeling unsatisfied with what we don't have. Thank God for my precious and great brother, and really think during these few days when mum's not around, there's an appreciation in our relationship where genuine care and concern, love arises.

when birthday(s) clashes...

2009-04-02T05:28:00.000-07:00

Hello hello earthlings,

people change, don't they? and bit by bit, I'm slowly seeing one changing, the other too.. and more and more.. why the change, i don't really understand.

Issit because they've decided to succumb to failures and sink into despair, give in to the Devil, or have acceded to stress, pressure, problems, complex issues, frustration and whatever not.

But who don't face all these? I guess... sometimes we can just learn to not magnify our problems so much, because believe, having faith that with God, nothing is impossible!

God respond to FAITH(:
"Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." - Hebrews 11:6

Yes, I will not give up even when others are, because my heart believes. And I really thank God for great girlfriends that I can share my heart with, it really does help alot, they are just like additional pillars in my life. So thankful(:

Anw.. on a random note, I went back to TPSS today to help and give some moral support to juniors participating in syf in 3 weeks time. I think there's really still lots of room for improvement, because they still got so much potential! But I just feel they are all so pessimistic, looking so sad. Cheer up, cheer up, don't look at syf as a competition anymore lah, just treat it as a performance, enjoy and sing your hearts out, sing in a way that you think your audiences will enjoy! Jiayous(: It's really the process that you learnt and enjoyed that is more important yeah. You guys can.

I don't know why, the tune of the golden oldie ETERNAL FLAME just found it's way and got stucked into my brain, and it kept ringing and ringing on & off... but well it's really a nice song. I just hope that I don't sing it out in school, if not they'll think I'm weird haha.

Well well well...

Come'on come' on! Just a little more, press in and it'll soon be over! I believe God is making all of us stronger right at this very moment! After these storms, you'll very soon see the beautiful rainbow. We can all do it!!! Pastor How says only people with FAITH are able to SMILE. So let's have alittle more faith and smile, and smile from the inside of our hearts =D

Tmr we're celebrating 2 awesome person's birthday! I hope they'll love the surprise(: Heehee, but I gotta work hard and make pretty cards for them now.

Have a goodnight rest! :)

a little reward.

2009-04-01T06:40:00.000-07:00

I think I've work hard for the past few days, and completed all my tutorials and assignments (:
so i decided to give myself a little reward haha.

And finally watch DEPARTURES with fungqi today, since I said I want to watch this movie 1 month ago. Thank God, it hasn't been taken down(:

I like the entire feel of the movie, just feels so comfortable, the white snow, the cherry blossoms(or you may call it sakura), the sceneries are just beautiful. just a pity that there were no more tickets and we sat right infront at the 2nd row. i must at least visit winter Japan once in my entire lifetime on Earth, just simply iresistable.

During the last few scenes when I saw the coffin being pushed into the furnace, it reminded me of how ah gong was also pushed into that same thing, and i couldn't help but tear. Guess I really cry too easily, hai.

Really gain a deeper understanding and respect for people working in this industry, and I really think they are courageous people. Whilst in my lifetime I guess I will never be so courageous to work in this line, i think they really deserve to be respected and appreciated of their services. This definitely is not an easy job, and really loathe people who look at them with a different view and not understand the hearts behind these people. Thank God that we have these amazing people(:

passion.

2009-03-31T03:16:00.000-07:00

sunday.

the GB sharing session Mae-ann led was really powerful.
not just ordinary powerful, but really POWERFUL.
whatever Mae-ann shared just embedded themselves in my heart, and I felt so impacted.
couldn't control, but felt like I've never cried like this for a long time...

that thick presence, that tangible feeling was so strong lingering in the room when we started singing Jesus You are my Lord..and I just cried out to God like never before.. and I could feel Him telling me : I understand.

God has truly been so good and faithful in my life, never once He has forsaken me since the day I step out in faith to cling onto Him wholeheartedly. It is just that , as time passes, things come and things go, overwhelm and cover, and I often depend on my strength instead of His.

Many times, we pretend we are all okay, happy & strong on the outside, but inside your deep wounds are longing for healing, your problems and frustration are waiting to be set free, your heart longs for lasting joy & happiness... while we don't have the power & strength to do it, but God does. becasue God says : With Him, all things are possible. whenever we think we can't, we say BUT GOD CAN!

There's nothing to hide anymore, nothing escapes His eyes. He knows all things before you do. Mae-ann prayed for me, and I felt this immense burden lifted up to God, no longer carrying them all by myself, but sharing everything in life, regardless big or small with God because more than just a child of God, Jesus is my best friend. Because God loves me for who I am, He doesn't just care about what I do in my ministry or in church, but He's interested in me, in my problems, in everything of my life.

Jesus You are my Lord
Jesus You are my everything
Jesus You are my Lord
You are all to me

Jesus You are my God
Jesus You are my everything
Jesus You are my God
I give You my all

And I will worship You
And I will lift You up
And I will sing to You
of Your majesty

oh where's phoebe?

2009-03-25T05:32:00.000-07:00

today morning, i received a sms from ms feibi low, and i really really really miss her alot. though there are sometimes when we couldn't come into agreement about certain perspectives in our faith, but I still love her as a friend, a sister, a buddy and whatever not.

oh wells, i can't help but to say I miss those Swedish meatballs too.

on my journey home today, God set me to think of something... and I thought about it. and when I returned home, I just felt like reading, i picked up my book and i saw this, exactly what God had set me to think about earlier on:

"As a new Christian you were like a lump of coal: unattractive, somewhat fragile and messy to work with. After time and pressure, however, coal has hardened and become beautiful. Although the original lump of coal is not a diamond, it consists of the right substance to become a diamond. Right now, you are a diamond in the rough, but given enough time and pressure, you will be like a diamond revealing the glory of God."

"Anthony Hoekema comments, "You are new creatures now! Not totally new, to be sure, but GENUINELY new. And we who are believers should see ourselves in this way: no longer as depraved and helpless slaves of sin, but as those who have been created anew in Christ." "

Hmm, i just find the way God work and speak amazing(: This particular paragraph really ministered to me in someway or another. Admittedly, we are just like coal/rocks, with many impurities(sins in our lives) in us that Jesus is constantly changing, moulding us and refining us to become more like diamond. Sometimes, it is painful, it takes tremendous effort, courage and faith because these impurities had embedded in us for such a long time that it become habitual.

On this note, reminds me of what Ps Sy Rogers preached on Sunday is so entirely true. We must really do a thorough cleansing, and ensure these impurities don't exist anymore, so they won't haunt you again in any later part of your life. His sermon has truly made a impact on me. Praise & Worship on Sunday led by Joanne was powerful to me too, all those older songs brought me back to the times when I was still rather a new Christian in HOGC last year, I know God has something to speak about.

Yeah, I really admire this great man of God, and that's what I like about people. Behind every face, there's a story to tell. And I really want to just love the people around unconditionally, and bless them, care for them and be there for them wherever and with whatever I can. I just love the feeling when people around me feel loved.

before i carry on with mugging...

2009-03-24T07:26:00.000-07:00

all along my life, if people were to ask me: "what is your favourite food?"
i really don't know how to answer, seriously.

but now i know! like suddenly so clear.
and I realised studying had spark my appetite, like I start to think of many random food when I'm mugging. HAHAHAHA.

If you ask me what's my fav food now... I would say ALL these:

Ikea MEATBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kueh Lapis (the colourful 9 layers one)
Chocolate Muffin
My school's Fishball Beehoon soup
Old Chang Kee Chicken Wing(i finally know why so many people love it!)

Okay, this post is so lame. HAHA.

Anw, I think I'm offended today, quite alot. But I guess, I shall forgive and forget, and pray for that person instead! Love that person even more.

Ok, back to the books.

a greater cause!

2009-03-16T09:24:00.000-07:00

no doubt that my class this year is much more competitive...
or perhaps issit because my mindset differs from last yr?

well, seeing that most of the ppl are striving really hard in their studies.
should i be intimidated?

all i know is that I study for a greater purpose and greater cause!
Studies ain't everything, but clearly I know at this stage of my life,
God has called me to be a good student!

I strive for academic excellence more than just grades but to glorify the Almighty Lord! (maybe ppl think I'm religious nuts, but well, I'm not! I know I am a secure child of God and that's the core of me - praise and glorify Him in everything)

I know I can rejoice even in the midst of a dry desert, because His promises never forsake! Deuteronomy 31:8(:

I depend on God's strength and wisdom, and I will never be tired.
He sustains me through everything.
It's a privilege to be a child of God!

Amen.

God response to faith! Start proclaiming it today!

bliss.

2009-03-15T08:14:00.000-07:00

很多时候，幸福其实很简单。。。

幸福是。。。喝着妈妈亲自熬的红豆汤。
幸福是。。。知道上帝永远不会舍弃你，不论怎样都依然地爱着你。
幸福是。。。哼着一首自己喜爱快乐的歌曲。
幸福是。。。友人陪着你绕场跑完了六大圈。。。

幸福是。。。看着别人幸福。。。
幸福是。。。握着妈妈粗糙但温热的手心。。
幸福是。。。朋友一句鼓励的话语。
幸福是。。。在害怕恐惧中，妈妈暖暖的拥抱。

幸福是。。。有了永生，天堂和得救的确据。
幸福是。。。懂得惜福。
幸福是。。。懂得如何爱他人。。。

其实它一直就在我们的身边。
你幸福吗？

=.=

2009-03-06T07:44:00.000-08:00

i typed a whole chunk of something to post.
but blogger failed out of the sudden.
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):
i shall update again really soon.

but oh wells,

God is good... all the time!
All the time... God is good(:

Amen.

another round.

2009-02-21T16:05:00.000-08:00

hi world.
i woke up at 6 .49am on a sunday morning(today!)
when i can usually sleep till say 11am?
haha, all because of the cramps, i couldn't fall alseep anymore ):
decided to come online and re-create a timetable for wanchin.

As I was looking for an inspirational quote to put at the bottom of the time-table, many others popped out!
and i especially like the quotes from Winston Churchill:

"When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened."
Winston Churchill

"Mountaintops inspire leaders but valleys mature them."
Winston Churchill

"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm."
Winston Churchill

"Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality that guarantees all the others."
Winston Churchill

"If you're going through hell, keep going."
Winston Churchill

"All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes."
Winston Churchill

And some other quotes that inspired me too:

"If you judge people, you have not time to love them."
Mother Theresa

"We are not human beings on a spiritual journey.
We are spiritual beings on a human journey."
Stephen Covey

"Don't go through life, grow through life."
Eric Butterworth

"We must combine the toughness of the serpent and the softness of the dove,
a tough mind and a tender heart."
Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength to Love, 1963.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.”
Martin Luther King, Jr

oh what a saturday.

2009-02-21T03:08:00.000-08:00

today's a saturday and yet I'm at home ):
i really miss going service, and i miss out the last session of amt(b), ahhhhhh.
blame it on the weirdie green-yellow pill.

yesterday was a horrible day, inexplicable horrible-ness.
i was actually just having the normal monthly cramps after pe, but it turned out abit too much this time round.
i went to eat something and have a hot drink, and it got better.
On my way home, the cramps started again, this time in forms of waves, getting stronger each time, and i almost couldn't hold it back and puke on the man sitting in front of me in the bus.

i slept and slept, waking up hungry, i drank kopi and ate bread. then i vomitted the bits and pieces of bread(undigested) out, and my throat hurts man.
i went back to sleep with a bad headache, woke up, ate fish-porridge. less than an hour later, i puke out everything again, with the fish(undigested), and my head was spinning.

when mom's back, i was trying my best to complete my amt(b) hw, but i just couldn't stand properly on my feet. she started asking me all kinds of symptoms, and she say maybe it's stomach flu/food poisoning. But i don't feel that it was, so I continue to sleep.

And finally, now I realise it was all the fault of that pill. It was medicine for my dad, not me. My mum thought all kinds of painkillers will cure all kinds of pain, and little did she know, the side-effects were so strong.

I learnt a lesson:

虽然人家说药可以乱吃，话不可以乱讲。可是，药始终是不可以乱吃的。
健康要紧，生命是可贵的。

Dad's finally discharged but Mum's feeling pain because of that bad fall, and me suffering of the side-effects of taking the wrong medicine. Hope ks will be healthy and fine!
I don't exactly know what's happening in the family, really.
I hope everything will turn out well soon.

idk?

2009-02-18T23:56:00.000-08:00

perhaps it's really not time to get emotional...

but under the presence of God, there's just simply nothing you can hide anymore.
I let it all out, in that few minutes of quietness, i felt a bursting of emotions surging out of me, and tears just kept flowing uncontrollably. the next moment, all i felt was peace, comfort and freeness. I knew God was there, He stood beside me and took it all away from me, I felt so much comforted and loved.

He never love me just because of what I do, but He loved me for who I am, even before this world was formed in His hands.

in the 2nd month of this new year, problems just seemed to be popping up every here and then, I really felt discouraged. But I realised these were God's tests for my convictions - whether I'll stand strong, press in till the end/or I simply give up. sometimes, some problems just seemed overwhelming and frustrating that makes me feel like giving up, but I just can't don't care about it. I really felt alittle difficult to breathe for awhile.

BUT GOD (like how awesome Pst Phil's book is and more) kept giving me flowing waters that keeps me going, pictures that made me stand in awe. And I told myself, even at the point of suffocation, I'll take a deeeep breathe, do like what God says to me : One step at a time, back into momentum again.

Many times, we look to the right, to the left, look behind, to the front too much, concerning how people around us fare better/lousier than us, but all that matters is not them anymore, but how you run your own race.

i really thank God for all that's happening in my life that's making me learning and growing more everyday. He made me see it and feel it so clear of my identity in Christ, that I know from inside out, i am someone special and different from others.

I was reading this book called Victory over the darkness, and one interesting question raised by the author was this, answer this question: " Who are you? " And amongst the many people that he've asked, none were able to give him a correct answer.

It is simply because Who are you - is not just what your name is, not what your gender is, or neither what your occupation is.

I thought about this for a few days, and I'm happy to find an answer to this, I know who I am, and what truly my core is and identity in Christ. This is just so important.

Have you found yours?

i want to soar on eagle's wings.

2009-02-11T03:33:00.000-08:00

Here I am waiting
Abide in me I pray
Here I am longing
For You

Hide me in Your love
Bring me to my knees
May I know Jesus
More and more

Come live in me
All my life
Take over

Come breathe in me
I will rise
On eagle's wings

This is all I long for now,
my heart's desire...
Abba Father, take all of me.

update((:

2009-02-08T05:05:00.000-08:00

hello world! it's been 2 weeks since I last blogged.
just in time to update before school starts to get busy!

CNY's ending tomorrow!
And well, this year's CNY has been relatively good as considered to last year's, though the atmosphere was not as awesome,
but I still enjoyed it to the fullest(:

2nd day- my little cousins were kinda bored and they start to play with yee chang's dental floss! (not suppose to pow toh!)
Hahaha, we were really that bored ...we started posing with it,
ok very lameeeeee :DDDD they just look so adorable and funny!

ok pam, their sister that's the more normal one hahah :D
Whatever it is, I love them to bits!!

Other than all the visiting and fun, the past 2 weeks had really been a great time of renewal in the Lord for me. And i really think the school's renewal prog did help me to organise my thoughts in a more orderly manner and to really plan things out.

Honestly speaking, I slacked abit during the CNY period, but gladly after that I drew back closer to the Lord once again. And being in the presence of God just beats every other things you can ever have. So much peace, and satisfaction in my heart especially when we pray.

My mind just got clearer, no more noises and frustration in my head, but just pure peace and joy that's flowing through. I felt much faith arising as I was praying strongly for my class that I'm going to meet tomorrow. God just assured me that His power will flow through in the grounds of my school, and in my class.

And the greatest of them all, is to have revelations from God. He showed me something so powerful during last week's CG while everyone was praying, that picture kept flashing in my mind and I know it is not from me but from Him. I'm truly amazed and in awe of the Lord's amazing love and faithfulness.

He stands throughout eternity, and I know I can depend on Him.
Moving out of my convenience and comfort zone,
I will stand in between the gap of the living and the dead.
He is moving.

新年蒙福！

2009-01-25T09:17:00.000-08:00

新年蒙福！Blessed Moo Year (:

This year, i feel that cny has been exceptionally different, such a way that I've been more involved. yeah, and truly last year i was not taking charge of any responsibilities but leaving everything to mummy ):

This year, my brother & I step in, step up, take charge and make things happen! :D that's how it should be! our relationship grow closer through these spring cleaning, helping out in reunion dinner's preparation and shopping for cny stuffs although i kept swan-ing my brother, b'cos he really deserves it!(he doesn't takes care of things, you see!) hahaha, but you noe i don't mean it in my heart, i just want you to become a real man(:

My dad - still the same old him. despite his 2nd time in hospital, he still never learn his lesson. still as chauvinistic, still as stubborn, still as narrow-minded. no matter how much my brother & i nagged at him to watch his diet, he simply took our reminders as lullabys and continue to enjoy smoking, indulging in whatever he shouldn't eat. i wonder if he's afraid of the thought of hospital again, but it appears to me that he has forgotten all the pain he went through.

I really feel like asking God why mum married a man like this, but I trust God for His plans for my family - and it will be good. And it just came so clearly to me, how I must bring my brother closer to God; he shall be the one who's going to break this generation curse, rising up and becoming the real man for this family. Carrying the responsibilities and the future generation shall follow. I really can't wait for this day where my brother mature in Christ, I'm really hoping for him to grow up.

On a lighter note, there's so many movies I wanna catch this CNY! And I must must must watch The Wedding Game, Brideswar & InkHeart!! I wanted to watch Ponyo Ponyo but I heard it's not very nice except for that theme song, haha. Heard Red Cliff 2's veryyy nice, but when i see or hear 赤壁 this 2 words, immediately i'll be reminded of CLL class & CLL teacher - and I really feel like falling asleep. Haha.

Great great great(: Haha.
Life's good when you plan things out.
Got-ted intention, now it's the actions! and results will come(:
PUSH!

miss miss misses.

2009-01-21T07:07:00.000-08:00

today, ruiting gave me a letter dated 24/11 last year,
it was really sweet(:
[and so you've been missing me ever since then, now i know. haha.]

and she attached this picture in the letter,
though we can't see each other as much as we could like last year,
but the excitement that we have whenever we see each other in school will just explain it all.
perhaps I'm not someone that's really good at expressing it on my face,
but you all know it's all in my heart.

pray that as life goes on, they will discover & find the treasure in Life one day,
continue to smile the way they are, and be genuinely happy(:

just thinking....
what were the moments that really left deep imprints in my heart for 08 in tpjc..

PW & PW group!
Though it was really tedious and stressful, but it's really something i won't forget i guess.
really miss Shahidah & Aisyah alottttt.
we really come through it together man! love my group(:

and 2008, the moments, the things, the people that I missssed most was
PAE A04!

even Mr Lim's gone to VJ already. ):

Really really really miss those fun we had during ubin days.
though it was like less than 3mths that we had together,
but it seems like we've been together for very long.

And truly, these people left so much in my heart not just because of the hype and fun we had, not because pae was the unstressful part of jc life, but
these people werethe ones who genuinely treasures every single relationship with one another,
these were the ones who sincerely care and think of one another,
[even if we all had different opinions and thoughts]
the un-selfish ones who always have each other on their minds.

Even up till now, I still think we are.
Even just one word, we know how much each another care.

update

2009-01-15T09:59:00.000-08:00

my dad's feeling better today already, in fact he called me from hospital about 5 hours ago.
thank God, and thank you many many for everyone's prayers(:
i believe in a coming of a miracle into my household.
something's changing. my mum's changing.
i told her that my whole cg and auntie yenping is praying for pa, and i believe something's sown in her heart.

it wasn't an easy beginning for 2009, many things had happened in just a short span of 15 days - good news, bad news, challenges, problems, frustrations, happiness, excitement.
MIXED FEELINGS.
just feel God telling me that more have yet to come, be prepared.
praying that He guards my heart, soul & mind in peace.
Philippians 4:6-7

Goodnights world.

...

2009-01-15T09:56:00.000-08:00

was just sharing with sharon ay about some issues of life, and she said:

"Christians are nice but not stupid."

well, i just wanna say,
i totally agree.

outing.

2009-01-08T07:09:00.000-08:00

today met up kimberly with zhilin, and after that fung joined in. haha.
i spent quite abit today, arghh, but it's for cny!

and we watched twilight, ok i noe it's like we very lag, after such a looooooong time then watch.
haha, before that i heard alot of relatively negative feedbacks and comments about the movie.
well, after watching it, i must say i think it's quite nice, and i enjoyed it (:
probably because i haven't read the book! which is good, so if i read the book now, i guess it'll be enhancing the entire plot and story.

though the storyline is not realistic, but then just look at it as a story lah.
nice story, edward cullen's not that badddddddddddd afterall.
he looks good at the prom, like what fung says.

makes me feel like reading the book now, and the continuous stories. haha
but i watched InkHeart's trailer, and Kimberly shared with me abit of the storyline, and I really feel like watching itttt! Kimberly's just so cute, haah!

after that, we went to bodyshop, and it was hilarious i guess?
the saleswoman sprayed abit of a perfume on the paper slip and gave me to smell,

so i said: hmm, smells like orange!
*pass on to fung who looks super blur after smelling few other kinds*
fung: not bad leh, quite nice.
*then i think think think...*
then i said: hmm, it's ok i don't want, i think next time when ppl smell me they'll feel hungry.
because it was some tangerine perfume! hahaha.
*and the both of them laughed very loud in the shop*

ok lame, i'm glad that i cheered quite some people today! (:
God is good.. ALL THE TIME!

challenge.

2009-01-06T10:14:00.000-08:00

"He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." - 1 John 4:4

Spent some time planning and thinking through about how 2009 is going to be like, im feeling excited and yet abit lost? maybe because I don't know what's in there for tomorrow, and tomorrow tomorrow,but oh well, my world is in God's hands. I shall be assured, everything's alright(: this time round, i feel so much different, stepping into 2009 with a vision, with a mission!

I really strongly believe, this year is just going to be amazing! I don't know what God has in store for us, but I know it's going to be something great(:

As I was just standing that day at my school bus stop looking at the opp bus stop that we always take to inter, then take train to chuch. I was 4D-ing like how next time, it'll no longer be peijun & me taking bus to tampines interchange then to church for cg, but a group of us - girls & guys ; each and every of those lives being touched by God, each of us smiling from the inside of our hearts. Just how nice is thatt.

Wow, I'm excited! Challenges are coming in already, though my engine's still alittle rusty, I told myself I must be ready! No more time to be wasted !

This season for me, it's really about elevating my faith, discipline, spiritual sharpness and focus!

Guess when things go right, and everything's in place, you'll be feeling good!

I can do it, I will make things happen!

new.

2009-01-02T07:07:00.000-08:00

On the first day of 2009, i opened my eyes at 2pm after reaching home at nearly 4am the night before. I woke with a big wide smile, smiling like I've never before, and I told God & myself:
2009 is a great year. Today is a great beginning.

And it is going to be!

Without further ado, I warmed up and get ready for a massive wipe out of all the illegal habitants in my room. Guessed they have stayed on for quite some time, it's time to chase them all outttttttt...

Just like the chinese saying: 旧的不去，新的不来。

So I clean clean clean...wipe wipe wipe,
throw throw throw,sweep sweep sweep,
mop mop mop......

and time just really flies like no one's business,
before I even notice, it's like 8pm alreadyyy! I felt like I lose contact with the world suddenly man, haha until Peijun called me.

Well, after cleaning up, I felt even happier(:

And I remembered about Charleston's sermon on planning our lives during BMT(A). There was one pt about having a good workspace environment, and think I really see how important it is now. Because when your room is neat and tidy and spacious and sparkling clean, i mean you just naturally feel good. Esp after a long day in school/work/outside, it's just awesome to relax and rest in your comfy and clean room. (:

On the other note, old testament bible reading plan is just goooood. And today while eating with my mother, she was complaining about men, and I shared a bible truth in a casual way with her. I believe all these little things will open her heart more and more, and at least she's not against anything about Christianity.

Awesome awesome.
Planning planning planning to be done!

update

2008-12-29T07:04:00.000-08:00

truly hectic, my life's has still been exciting!
mummy's away to m'sia to attend Australia AY's house warming party?
and yeah guess they're indulging in all the cheap shopping spreeees now :D

updatessss.

29/12/08 MONDAY
Was late for new gen meeting, i'm so super sorry! luckily everyone was nice.
wah just can't hide my excitement, 2009 is just going to be truly awesome as I start to think about it lah!

Evening, Met up with Sharon Ah Yee today! Super happyyy (:
So long didn't see her already. We had a great japanese dinner tgt, exchanged Christmas presents and walked around. It just feels so comfortable and good to be with her.
Can't remember the restuarant's name MA MIASON? Anw, the miso soup is the best lah, not the fake kind, really authentic and nice. And I was super duper full, but the brownie never fail to tempt me, so yummy! Thank God for this wonderful day, I feel so loved :D

28/12/08 SUNDAYY :D
yesterday was yishun satellite church's grand opening(:
service was awesome, and really impacted by the 3rd service - the kids sang so loudly, and the presence of God was just so there, just makes you feel like worshipping and worshipping nonstop. i really think many kids of that session are spiritual, and when we went around praying for them, i really felt impartations into their hearts as their tears flowed down their cheeks.
more than that, i'm equally inspired by the teachers by how they not just do their best, but also give so generously. I'm so motivated to save up and contribute too!

and after the entire day, some of the teachers went to eat at the salad bar that everyone is talking about. Hahaha, and we really went to look for carol's ex-classmate alvin/elvin and say bye to him. Initially we really just want to say bye to him, but end up sitting down and eat... he really went in and cook for us and we were really shocked to see this :

the left one is ordered by fungqi , and the right one is ordered by chewtheng.
But they are the same $3!!! See the difference?!
haha and ah fei's $2 mash potato looked like mash potato ice-kachang! So much and so tall.
we were really laughing very hard ytd night man. XDDD

If i didn't remember wrongly,

26/12/08 FRIDAYY

finally went out and meet up with et, cc and wc!
phoebe cmi again.
so yeah though it was a short lunch catch up, but food was yummy, and we had fun talking and laughing at one another lah, and also taking silly photos :D

CC, this is sissy!

and yeah i told them about the decision i've made for next year, glad that they're all supportive.
i'll work hard for next year, and it's just rather sad that i won't be able to hang around with them everyday anymore, and be there for them, but just want to let you all noe that - you guys are awseomse friends to be with, and you all will always stay in my heart, and i'll always keep you all in my prayer(:

afterall, God hasn't promised us that life will always be smooth-sailing, and i believe it's truly not how we begin but it is how we end that is more important and significant. I'm charged up and all excited for year 2009; new harvest awaiting!

2009 is going to real cool ! (: Everybody rejoice with me man!

Christmas

2008-12-25T10:07:00.000-08:00

Though this may come alittle too late, but well I still want to say...

CHRISTMAS :

I believe many will be troubled about what to get for our families and friends during Christmas, like how we wish we can find something that they can enjoy forever, a gift with "no expiry date", so we don't have to be troubled every year...

and you know what?

.......

such gift do exist!

John 3:16(NIV) says: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

And this gift is therefore ETERNAL LIFE, something that will not rust, nobody can snatch/steal from you, something that belongs to you forever.

........

Yeah, truly Christmas is the season of giving! - shopping of gifts for people, blessing people and gifts exchanges etc. And it's the same for God as well! (:

GOD GIVING HIS BEST - His one and only Son JESUS CHRIST, just for you and me. But this gift can only be yours if you trust in Jesus Christ to forgive your sins and sincerely want to follow Him(Romans 10:9-10)

The best gift I've ever received is now in my heart, it's the gift that God gave me - His son Jesus Christ.

Today, just ask yourself : What is Christmas without Christ?

truly know what Christmas is all about; this greatest LOVE of all?

......

Let Christmas be truly CHRISTmas again... (:

His blood was shed not for nothing... we are the reason.

Radicalism

2008-12-13T07:37:00.000-08:00

today I made a right decision, although I know people will say me, but oh well, I know I've made the right-est decision today.

If I haven't been firm enough, today I will not be able to take the train with Joan and learn to know and love her deeper.
If today I had left to PP, I will not have talked to Klinsman's mother, and know so much about his family background and his interests.
If I didn't even turn up today, Jannah will be disappointed that I'm not there, because she made a little red paper butterfly specially for me.
If I weren't there at CCH today, I wouldn't be able to rejoice with the other teachers that Soonling & Soonlee came, and Soonling will not be able to find me.

Nothing goes wrong when you decide to put God first above all things.
RADICALISM! is - N0 matter what, I will stick to God!
RADICALISM! is - GOD first, OTHERS second, ME last.

Up Up Up another level!
Spirit makes man, we gotta be spiritual, it really makes a difference.
The future's amazing, love God, love hoGc, love CCH, love D5, love generation builders!
:)

AMT(A)

2008-12-11T08:52:00.000-08:00

I was just blog hopping around, and every updated post about AMT was just inspiring!Everyone is like full of convictions in their posts, amazing(:

There's so much to say that I don't know where to start. I really learnt alot from AMT(A) especially the sessions with Pst How impacted me exceptionally, even if i was tired, I won't fall asleep because it's just simply because you can't miss out any bit lah.

Well, prayer meeting at 4.30am! Exciting, Tiring, Challenging - i believe everyone was sort of struggling in between, but we pressed on and we made it, till 5.30am! Exactly 1 hr and infact more till 6am. Wow, isn't that just awesome, I just felt God challenging me, and training my spiritual sharpness through this AMT(A) and praying long & loud is something not that difficult, if we have focus and fixed our spiritual eyes upon the Lord :D

Back from revival night, and it is just such a powerful session. I was closing my eyes so tight and worshipping God just now, that I didn't even realised that people are all kneeling down. We kneeled down, cried out of our hearts, and it was just so real, no pretense, everything of me for everything of You, Lord. Radicalism! I was just so impacted by all the testimonies, esp MJ's! Like how one man - KS brought forth such a great revival!

Nearing the end, i turn and look at the clock , oh no! it was like 10.20plus if i didn't remember wrongly. Auntie from Australia is coming and arriving at around that time, if I don't get home in time, she's going to suan me and nag at me man. Cause she has always been like that , fierce and rather scary. But well, i shall speak life, she's afterall a nice person(: And I was praying to God, to help me to delay the flight or something. And you know what? I smsed my brother after the session, and he said this : She missed her flight...Still looking for air ticket. Like wah, God really helped me man, so miraculously. Thank God, and in this way I'll not miss out tmr already!

I was just thinking these few days, and really truly, I want to say I am so privileged to be in Heart of God Church. Where on earth will there be a 2nd place that's better than hoGc, which you can call home, and provide you with a loving environment, and so many trainings and exciting stuffs! Like Charleston preached - THIS IS IT ! No other alternatives man! This is the place I belong. (:

And on another note, Peggy and I just realised we really flow, until a scary degree.. Haha, we always say the same thing lah, like today I said my favourite colour is RAINBOW and she also said so! We didn't pa kar ok! Haha then during AMT(A) it was so funny, we brought the same set of sleeping clothes - TPJC Orientation Shirt + Dark Blue FBT. We really wah man! And then peggy told me she bought the same blouse as me from Far East, and same colour somemore, but at different time and with different people! HAHA! And alot more.. to be continued.

Wow, time flies, it's 4:03am already(:
Off to sleeep!

great day!

2008-12-03T08:51:00.000-08:00

like what val say in her blog , today is a great day!
went church to study, but in the end....
you know what lah .

But it was fruitful, we had like sharings after sharings outside the admin office,
with Ryan Yap, Val , Stabilo , Babra & Chengyu.
I felt a special thickness in the air, the presence of the Lord moving from one to another.
We ate together with Dom and I think Ryan Yap had lots of fun hahas.
Like what Yiwen said, i think it's just cool lah to eat tgt with your zone leader, and Dom spent like 2 hours or even more with us. Throughout didn't talk on the phone or sms or anything. Hahas.

I shared my testimony, and above just telling my story, it always feels like I'm taking a tour back to the time and place when I first know Jesus, when I first fall in love with Jesus Christ :) Hahas!
And I say : I love Jesus forever ! Even if I were to die tomorrow, I say I am going to Heaven to meet Jesus!

Don't always think that nobody cares about you, Don't always think that nobody will ever understand your deepest feelings. Because God knows, He hears every single thought you have in your head. He loves you. He cares, and I care for you too.

It's the time.

2008-12-01T07:16:00.000-08:00

I know it's time to settle down and study now.
It's time to put everything back into order and clear up the mess.
It's time to restore broken relationships.
It's time to learn and grow.
It's time to walk closer again with Jesus, and hear Him speak.
It's time to spend more time waiting on the Lord.
It's time, time to stop running blindly.
It's time to breathe, think awhile.
It's time to seek God and refill my fuel tank.
It's time to get even more tighter, more serious, more faithful.

Father, I ask for Your forgiveness.
In Your presence dwelling forever, is all I ever want Lord.

Now is the time.

2008-11-30T09:50:00.000-08:00

Valerie tagged me to do this, although it's quite lame but i feel like doing it.

THE RULES :
People who were tagged , need to blog about their 10 weird habits/little facts.
At the end , you have to choose 10 person to be tagged and list their names.

1) I am having a weird voice now, I can neither talk properly or sing ! Super irritating and Angzhilin like keep asking me to sing but it sounded like super horri-ca-bleee.

2) I like to watch tv in the dark sometimes, haha bad for eyes i know !

3) Don't ask me to blow balloons or burst balloons infront of me, if not I will cry!

4) I don't really like to go to the washroom when I'm outside, I don't know why, hahas.

5) People around me love to laugh at me(like PEIWEI & WEILE), because i am funny to them . HAHA!

6) I love to go to supermarkets and just jalan around, don't call me aunty!

7) My brother says I talk when I sleep... like sometimes only.

8) Ehhh, I like the combination of Mac ice-cream + fries !

9)Bakerella and Marthastewart.com are my faves man, heee :)

10) I love JESUS CHRIST :D

Ok I'm going to tag:
1)Jean !
2)Peiwei
3)Ruiting
4)Eeteng

there's so much more to be done!

2008-11-30T08:35:00.000-08:00

Another week has fly passed, and Children's church camp was just exciting! :D I had a whole lot of fun with SATAY! and some other kids and the crazy teachers!

All the time spent sourcing out food caterers, suppliers and planning really paid off during this camp. Though it was tiring, but it was really a whole new experience for me, and I really learnt and see alot more. And what I can say is that ,well... the kids are really hungry in this camp because we basically don't really have sufficient food for them!

I was truly touched by how the presence of God was moving during service on the 2nd night. The atmosphere during Praise & Worship lead by Joanne was to the max, even I was singing and jumping like a kid, felt so much joy and happiness with these children. I was standing beside Urlwin and Wen Yan, they are just super cute and awesome lah :) We sang Redrain's " Your love is amazing" and it was just amazing:

Jesus
I saw the blood on Your hands
I felt the thorns on Your head
I heard the cry of Your heart
Father forgive them

Your love's amazing to me
Fill my life with Your love

though the room was hot and stuffy, the presence of God was so strong that night, I could feel the spirit of God moving from hearts to hearts. We watched the scene of Passion of Christ where Jesus was hunged on the cross, I couldn't control but to let my tears flow whenever I watched this scene, because it's just simply too painful.

Kids were lifting their hands up into Heaven, and crying out to Father Lord like they never before. As we went around, I felt this overwhelming feeling that I just can't control but to only cry even more. I was really impacted, cause they were really crying out and shaking when we pray for them esp Sylvia, i was impacted by what she said. I believe her life has changed over that night ,no longer the Christian that she used to be, her future's going to be amazing!

Oh wells, you know what ?
Tmr is 1st decemeber 2008 and it's the day I need to start studying!
:D

exciting november!

2008-11-23T08:56:00.000-08:00

I'm back from Asia Conference! :)
Well, this 5 day convention has not just been any ordinary convention,
but a blasting one!
I believe the entire Asia has shaken during the conference man,
and is still shaking now.

Tonight, I was standing high up there at the back, and as we worship, I look down at the thousands and thousands, you know what, it was just a majestic sight, with so many hands lifted high up into heaven, craving for more and more of God.

Whenever we sing The God I know, I never fail to be touched by the presence of God to tears, my favourite song of the season man! Alison's really a very anointed worship leader, she lead us into the presence of God so deeply. The sight of these thousands just reminds me so much the love of Jesus, those thousands of lives there, Jesus had touched them all, what a great sight to see so many people coming to His throne to worship Him and I can't help but to tear evenmore.

What's equally important and exciting was Dr.Bernard's message. I was totally blown away, at first I was a little sleepy, but as I focused, it was just awesome! I never want to fall asleep, cause it was just so mind-drawing. His message's so relevant, and pratical, I believed many have been impacted to make a commitment tonight.

I just felt His greatness so wonderful tonight, I stand in awe of the Word of God that's preached over the 5 days, and like what Pst Kong said, the Holy Spirit really helped to put everything together, and I saw a clearer picture. Pst How's sermon on Visions ytd was powerful too! I was seeking, and God gave me a vision, I saw this vaguely last week and yesterday He gave me the same picture again but this time round , stronger. And when they all come together tonight, they just fit so nicely together, I'm just amazed by the way God works.

It was a vision that's higher than what my abilities are right now, but like Maeann shared the first time when God gave her a vision about Northview pri, it was 3 years ago, and now finally things are happening. His ways are always higher than mine, I want to depend on Him forever and forever.

Over these 5 days, God really spoke to me, God really teached me alot. I learnt about loving and accepting people for who they are,without judgemental views, for God never look down on any of us. God has always believe in us, and so we also want to encourage and believe in others too.
I learnt not to complain so much , perhaps i've been complaining much, I shall cultivate tolerance & patience. Do and watch more than I speak.

Asia Conference 2010, I can't wait! Asia Conference 2008 - indeed one that transforms Asia and changes lives ! Pst Kong is the best man!, the CHC people who've made this event possible, they really deserve our respect, wonder how many days and nights they've been thinking & planning in order for the conference to be of such success! *3 cheers for them*

Wow! so exciting, I'm so glad that I'm a child of God and I'm part of this conference! Childrens church camp is coming next wednesday! Praise God for everything. I feel that I love the Lord even more, He's good all the times!

well, as November comes to a close, it's time to pick up my books and put in my heart and soul to study for advanced test. I hope it's not too late, I'm going to be dilligent this dec :)

Friday

2008-11-14T09:37:00.000-08:00

There's always a story behind every family.
Went for visitation today, and I realised how fortunate I am.
I'm grateful for everything I have, every circumstances I am in.
I guess it's really time for me to complain less, and do more.

Tonight, I was rather silent most of the time, listening to people speak.
Using less of my mouth,but intensive observation and thinking running through my mind,and I realised how powerful our minds can be, if we really unleash the potential in it.Ideas came upon and strike me, today I really learnt a lot .
Thank God:)

Went on 39 from Yishun inter back to tampines.
Felt like vomitting cause it was rather dizzy.
Reached home at 11.15pm, fortunately mum didn't scold me,
and I shared interesting insights with her about happenings of today.

Like what xiaoyu say, we may have less time for ourselves but all these sacrifices are in place for a greater destiny ahead of us. I see the importance of visitations, cause it really open up so many things we cannot see through
phone calls.Visitations are cool!

"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked;
for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.

For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption,
but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.

And let us not grow weary while doing good,
for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."

~ Galatians 6:7-9

These verses really spoke to me. God is in control, nothing escapes His eyes.
If I do it lukewarmly, He knows.

And truly,

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus. "

~ Romans 3:23-24
I have fallen off that mark many many times,
but God never look down on me, but made me complete in Jesus Christ.
From today onwards, I must really do it with all my heart,
and really depend on Him,
for I know I can never depend on my own strength to do great things.

amazing!

2008-11-13T06:19:00.000-08:00

Life hasn't been smooth recently, but still it is great !
Because even in difficult times, I know that He is Lord, that He is in control of all situations, and I can trust in Him, and I have assurance in my heart.

All things are possible through Christ who strengthens me :)

There's really breakthrough in my prayer life, and jannah !
Recently, I feel abit stucked during QT, and stagnant, but sincere and specific prayers really do work ! God really listens to every single word you breathed out.

I saw this at my aunt's house, carved on wood :
Christ is the head of this house,
the unseen guest at every meal,
the silent listener to every conversation.

So well, don't gossip ah ! Yeah speak LIFE haha :D

It always feel so good after QT, so refreshed and just full of faith and hope. Still remember Pst Josh Kelsey preached that prayer is also proclaimation of excessive faith. God just showed me a different perspective of prayer in today's cg, totally from Heaven's view and not from my eyes. Felt wow, like that's how God look at us, and I really went on a spiritual sightseeing.

God moves only when we moves.

Jannah is awesome too ! Her attitude really changed alot, since past few months. Now, whenever I call her, she sounds so enthusiastic and excited ! Felt that it's no longer the surface kind, but gone deeper into her life. Prayers really really work. That's what God told me today too: He is just a prayer away, and a prayer can really make many changes, many differences. It may not be immediate effect but something is changed, so don't give up praying. When I pray, He will be able to work, the spirit of God can really start to carry out the real work, hover over things/people I pray for and make things happen! And He will open the door of blessings, awesome man !

On other note, I think Zone F people are super zaiiiii lah. Monday, CCH teachers and Zone F people went down to NorthView for this event specially for the P6 there. And it was really super fun, got to run around the school with the kids, and waterbombing each other, and I got really wet. Till i got home, my shoes were soggy, my pants are still not dry! Haha. But admist all these fun, can really see the zone f pals working seriously, get the kids no. Awesome !
Super happy working with Serene, cause she's so cute and funny. and the girls love her man.

Tomorrow follow up bbq is going to be another awesome thing I'm really looking forward to!
Serene and I, got 4 coming . Yeah !

Coming out with BOLDNESS.

Nick Vujicic 4th - 5th november !

2008-11-05T09:22:00.000-08:00

Nick Vujicic service, was truly a blast, an inspiration, and more than that, it's the amazing works of God.

I will never regret coming for the service, cause I'm really blessed to hear him and see him, and somemore hugged him ! If you've missed it, then it's just a pity because it was just so good!

It is just amazing how a person without limbs, can speak with such great faith and confidence, even more than a person with limbs. His torso is not just any ordinary body part, or weak if you think so. There's just so much vigour and energy in that block itself that he can swim, play soccer, golf, ride a horse, hop, type, play piano and guitar. He is living beyond his abilities, and living in God's abilities, and he had so much joy in his life.

I just feel that God wants to tell us that , if Nick without limbs is unafraid, able to do so many things, there are even more that we, people who have limbs can do, as long as we do not depend on our might, but rely on His strength.

By right, he could have choose to be emo, low-esteem, and have no hope of the future, but he found Jesus Christ in his life, and his life is filled with even more colours and exciting and purposeful than many in this world.

So what do you seek when you feel empty ?
Seek relaxation in alcohol to fill your empty feelings ?
Or resort to buying things ? Looking for fulfillment through friendship ?
Get yourself busy with alot things in life ?

How long can you constantly keep yourself busy with - 24 hrs in 7 days ?
Or can clubbing, drink alcohol, sex really help you find happiness, to remove your pains ?

If you put your happiness in temporary things,
then your happiness will only be temporary!

How long can you be busy really ? How many things can you buy? How far can alcohol bring your pains away ?Your pain will still show and magnify, perhaps one late night when you're alone in your bedroom. Eventually, everything of this world will come to an end, and everyone will die.
So upon your death, you ask yourself - All my life, what have i done ? And you realised nothing.

These thoughts came upon me, and I realised how silly I was once before.

Just a note : DEATH doesn't mean everything is over, there's more to come after that yeah.

so how ? The Solution : JESUS CHRIST

why escape ? There is no denial, true happiness can only be found in the truth, that is in Jesus Christ (:

Don't say you can't when you haven't even try it.

Total Brokenness & Unity,

2008-11-01T08:38:00.000-07:00

so many times I say that Nothing can escape the eyes of the Lord.
Really, He truly knows everything single thing you are going through.
He knows your name, He knows how you feel.
More importantly, He loves you and He cares for you.

Today's service just feel so different, it seems like a whole new place

It felt exceptionally home-ly and like a family today!

Had so much joy, fun and smiles praising the Lord, and so much tears of joy, of heartfelt feelings, comfort, thankfulness in His wonderful presence.

Felt so ministered by the Lord today, the Word Pst How preached really spoke right and hit my heart. God touched my heart once again, and healed the wounds.

Though there are still scars, but they are meant for us to become stronger, to remember how we had pressed on and not to give up.

Though there are sufferings, but God allowed them for a reason. It was meant to make me stronger, God was using that to mould me. God wanted me to use my personal experience and revelations to help others in the same situation in future.

Father, I will press on because :

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns" ~ Phil 1:6 (NLT)

and through this darkness of problems and crisis, my strength will grow! and God is moudling me, changing every now and then to become more like Him. I know that the rainbow is just a few steps more, so I'm going to press on.

"I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us." ~ Phil 3:14 (NLT)

On the other note, CCC worship is really GOOD.
Anointing can just flow easily with songs from them.
there is substance in their songs that will always build up atmosphere.
Like Supernatural rain, Worthy, Higher, Everybody Praise the Lord, Thank You,Today & so many more.

Cook spaghetti with mummy tmr ! Yay :)

Happy Birthday !

2008-10-26T09:17:00.000-07:00

17th Birthday :D

I had a great birthday this year. Praise God !

Thank you Joanne, Phoebe, Wanchin,
Ruiting, Eeteng & Huishi for this birthday surprise.
But I'm sorry for the wasted trip to my house haha.
I was seriously touched and happy for what you girls have done for me.
They really spent alot of money, effort and put in alot of heart into this.
Like they know I love stickers, and they really bought me alot stickers.
I felt so treasured. Really love you girls alot.
But it was just hilarious when peijun told me the plans.
I was laughing and acting blur throughout.

Okay, this is from MS POTATO ANG, and MS YU ZHENGY.
Very nice of them to get me a bottle of 1.5litres JASMINE green tea.
Thank you Jingfen for making the pretty card.
And all over the card, was MOLIHUA MOLIHUA and still MOLIHUA.
D5 & D50 peeps just made me giggled so much over what they wrote la, haha.
and that Auntie Zhilin ! wrote this to me :
" I will pray for you stop being so auntie! "
RAHH I am not AUNTIE okay!

And MS POTATO ANG :
thank you for the lovely card.
I was touched with the long message you wrote for me
despite it was already 00:48am.LOVE YOU !
I will run this race together with you & let's dream big dreams together!
May there be many 10 years ahead,
where we can celebrate our birthdays together.
our dreams will come to pass, like very soon !

Thank you ;

Shirley, Jean, Huishi, Eeteng, Ruiting, Joanne, Phoebe, Wanchin, Cheryl, Ah gogo, Pearlyn, Winnie, Samantha, Zhiyong, Gladys, Yiqing, Jonathan, Auntie Sandy, Sharon Ah Yee, Peijun, Jingfen, Nicholas, Fungqi, Sharyl, Yiwen, Qianqian, Auntie Bamboo, Moomoo, Nancy(Peifen), Godric, CK, Gavin, Valerie, Annlynn, Zhenghui, CCH teachers, family, Choir girls for all the wishes. Best birthday ever in 17 years.

And 26th October is my mummy's birthday !
Isn't this cool. We went to celebrate at Xinwang HKCafe.

See this pattern, and you will know => My brother's one

Wah this is the best man. HK MILK TEA :D

My very shy mother & brother ;)
*hee*

And my very nice ah yee and yeechang treat us to Hagen Dazs next door :D

so pretty. If you go Hagen Dazs.
Die die also must order Raspbery Sorbet okay, cause it's super nice.

brownie + icecream ;D
i was telling my brother, if Eeteng sees this, she will go crazy.
Haha.

25th October 2007 : Worst birthday I ever had.
This 1 year has just been really a super amazing year.
God has transformed my life, not 180 but 360 degrees.
Just 1 year ago, on this very fateful day on 25th October, I was hiding in my room, crying secretly, I was very afraid and I was shivering, I felt as if i was a cancer-patient, it may sound exaggerating to you, but the fact was like that, it was genuinely how i felt. I don't know what to do, I felt like my life's gone, my future is a question mark, the road ahead was getting darker, I couldn't see anymore purpose in living, i thought of stopping life there, i don't know how to carry on. I was carrying the burden all by myself.

4 days later,
Jesus came into my life and set me free.
He came into my darkness, and I saw a glimpse of light.
As I continue to follow it, I saw a straight path to even more light, the path got wider and clearer, the brightness was overwhelming. It was when I was the weakest, that He came into my brokeness and made me whole again, gave a whole new life. I was given a chance to start all over again, but now , with Jesus. With purpose, with light, with truth. How amazing can this be. (:

It is never coincidence that I ever pounded about death.
It was all God-incidence, it was all planned.
Because God knows it all, He knows I can only find the perfect answer in Him, I will only be satisfied with the answer from above. If not for God, who am I ? I dare not think about how life would be like now, if God didn't call me.

25th October 2008 : Blessed
I woke up in the morning, with joy knowing that my life
will never be the same again.I was just thinking about how the past
1 year had past, and memories of panic attacks just flashed back,
wow , it's 1 year already. Panic attacks never came back, Praise God.
But those memories were painful, those that will still make you tear.
But, I cried tears of joy,
because i was really touched and thankful for all that God has done in my life.
How He brought me back to Him,
how He bring me to HOGC, find my destiny in Him.

God has truly set me free. Real Freedom. Life has a greater purpose now, a higher calling. As I worship God today, tears of joy and thankfulness just flowed. I was just smiling away during Praise. It is this kind of relationship with God, that you know you will never forsake. You know it is something that you can't live without. It is not a religion, not a philosophy.

It's like you know no matter how tired you are, or feeling weak, you can always run back to God, and He will give you comfort, His presence is sufficient to give you peace in your heart. You know when you feel hurt, tell Him, and He will heal your wounds, He will be your refuge.You know when you feel happy, share your joy with Him, Praise Him and His name will be glorified. You know walking with Him side by side, and He will open your eyes to the many things that are unseen. You know with Him, nothing will ever seem too impossible, for His strength will bring you whatever circumstances.
You know His love will be your motivation.
you know Life will always be full of hope with Jesus :)

Mae-ann shared this during cch service -
When you take 1 step to God, God runs 10 steps towards you.

He has been waiting, waiting and waiting at the door of your heart.
Jesus loves me, Jesus loves you too.